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My Ode To Madness
softyetharsh

Its essence lies in clarity of madness
 1
Untainted when unreasonable, not armed
 2
A taste of zenith bounds to beyond
 3
Endless entwines catch you deep in slumber
 4
Only then distant shrills be heard
 5
Uncaptured epitome of sweet solitude dearly haunts.
 6


Dec. 2008

24 Aug 10

Rated 10 (9) by 1 users.
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Comments:

i like the way your words don't make much esnse but still manage to convey a feeling.
 — manuka

Hey, isn't an ode longer than this?  I feel cheated!  Do you need 'you' in line 4?  Catch deep in slumber would work, too.

I agree with manuka - taken line by line, it doesn't make clear sense but the overall feeling is not madness, it's clarity.  

I still you trick the reader with the title but now I must go recheck the meaning of Ode!
 — Isabelle5

this is good. very good
 — psychofemale

hahaha, manuka i like the way you say "don't make much sense"..and yeah, i checked on the meaning of ode prior and it is synonym to laud, composition, verse, words or even a shout, etc. i did not however meant it to be an epic or a ballad...here is madness connoting love..again, thanks manuka, Isabelle, psychofemale and fractalcore.
 — softyetharsh

Although poetic, this reads to me as a statement.  Take three steps back from this and read it as a reader without any personal ties and you may begin to notice that while this may be an okay write, it is deeply personal and unattractive to an outside reader.

Thus your title "My Ode" becomes uninteresting and the poem becomes reflective only to the writer.

My suggestions would be to write this in relation to the feeling you are trying to convey without actually making it obvious that it is actually "Your Ode" but rather "An Ode" without specifying these details in the title/content.

Changes can be very simple to obtain these results.  For example, in the very first line if you write it like this:

"Its essence lies in a clarity of madness"

You take the focus off of yourself and make it a more objectional statement completely changing the tone of the piece.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,
Josh
 — midnight51

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