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press 1 to speak to your father

press 2 to speak to him in his 30's
dad of his thirties-
Arizona bound in a tobacco smelling red vest
his orange volkswagon abandoning only what's abandoned him
my mother in the passenger seat, pregnant with me-
a lump of kicking caffeine in her stomach
ready to pop out straight through the windshield
I press the number 2 and hold it down
as if the beeping sound would explode my stepmother's paranoid eyes
this time the conversation will not be like an angry prayer I say
I am predivorce me again
not the Danny who believed you returned everything you stole by buying me a happy meal
though I'd take it now,
as my poverty's romanticsm has faded against the black streaks on this mental hospital's brick
I am still early summer's boy
look at me in the chlorine
I hang up the phone and scribble in the notes section of my Gideon's-
Heavenly father,
I will no longer pray  to the bags under my dad's eyes
they are the worry of this dead lighter earth
I want to pop them like I tried to when I was a child

30 Aug 10

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beautiful.  poignant.  so vivid and visual, due to details like Arizona and orange volkswagon and happy meal

the searching and longing of this is powerful

many good phrases, but my favorite is L15-16
 — JaneyJane

thanks so much