poetry critical

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acid ick.
unknown

woo caught
 1
me
 2
a guinea
 3
hand in
 4
the coo-coo jar,
 5
waving
 6
at the mutts
 7
n bowlies.
 8
 
 
sister has
 9
a date
 10
two neat,
 11
should play
 12
i spy
 13
with my
 14
oval eye,
 15
amen in
 16
the parc
 17
growing beans.
 18
 
 
jack
 19
in
 20
the crack !
 21
too talk ohs
 22
for ninety
 23
nine sense?
 24
 
 
you cot me,
 25
bloody hand
 26
me downs
 27
across
 28
the street
 29
from whur
 30
I stand.
 31
 
 
I'm feeling better now.
 32
 
 
Look.
 33

In honor of Fractalicious, Soul of Syros and that Crazy old man I call Bauer.

30 Aug 10

Rated 9.3 (9.5) by 3 users.
Active (3): 9, 10
Inactive (1): 9, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

let's make sense, together.
 — mandolyn

9-18, 22-24 are lovely a-loud, and if all this is meant to be is cool-sounding non-sense, you've most certainly managed that, friend. if this is supposed to capture a feeling other than the slick-shlack-slackity-wack-back of the rythym in yore hastle an deaf low, it don't, though
 — unknown

...hhh'ick'ups...

: )
 — fractalcore

this goes to show that cool-sounding-lyric can be managed.

but more importantly this write is not me.
and that is why it has holes. o.O

so my theory has been proven. you can try to write like someone else, but in the end you're still yourself. (that was retarded)
 — mandolyn

Wait Frac...don't leave yet. I forgot to add a footnote. ^.^
 — mandolyn

honor & pleasure all mine,
rubbee mander.

; )
 — fractalcore

ain't ye glad i didn't put no U in honor? U knows i ain't no landlubbin goldie.
;)
 — mandolyn

i woldn't mind at all, althogh van gough woldn't be
in favour ouf that councept, aloung with soume
giger coure our outher, haha.

: )
 — fractalcore

this isn't so bad, and maybe it's because it's easy to write when you're writing someone else's work -- you don't have to prove yourself cosmically or whatever. but, you still have to spiritually, so there's a spark of life in this which is nice to read. 'nice to read' means, for me, getting on the words like a magic carpet. 'look' is pretty neat.
 — bmikebauer

actually bauer, i don't have to prove anything to anyone. i write what i write, when i want to write it.

i enjoyed writing this, and thought of you three when i wrote it.

i'm done saying words with wr. have a spectacular day. :)
 — mandolyn

nice poem, enjoyed reading
 — JKWeb

quite strange. I enjoyed it.
cheers!
 — RGJohnson

Thanks Web and RG.
:)
 — mandolyn

And thank you too Bauer, for commenting. :)
 — mandolyn

:)
 — unknown

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