poetry critical

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he told me he was here to take the silence
from me
he told me, I didn't need it anymore
I believed him.

13 Sep 10

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 — psychofemale

*says with soft whisper: "beautiful".

*still whispering "don't think you need any punctuation in this"
 — Estella

secure shell

 — PollyReg

sshhanandoa river running deep
and cold? hot geyser to hold...

; )
 — fractalcore

i read 'him' with [] around it.

; )
 — fractalcore

I would title this 'shh' instead.
 — mandolyn

You fool for believing...that is what all the bull shitters say even if they are called Mystic Malcolm or Mandy
 — larrylark

I do tend to say 'shh' quite a bit.
 — mandolyn

@Psycho female thanks :] I like that you read alot of my work, its cool
@Estella I kinda like the comma and the full stop, I dunno it gives a little breathing space to make sure its read nice and slow. But thanks for your response :]
@Polly reg ?
@Fractalcore ? .. thanks? And I'm not sure when you use brackets in poetry...
@Mandolyn thanks =]
@larrylark I know I am ^_^
@Mandolyn I think I'll start to see what other short sounds or words I say alot. I think it's interesting.

Thanks to all :] Sorry I've been gone so long,
 — Callisto

 — unknown

speak up
 — unknown