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Rage beyond the grave

Cruise beyond
open history books
into my cautious
mystery looks
at our beginnings
and soon to be
happily ever afters;
Forever we frolic in
graves with cinder
Ellas and molten wax.
They start with 'my'
and end with
'oh! God why?'
Kneel before the one;
son of matrix-
bald son of gun;
Shiny red faces
claiming ultimate
wisdom flowing bright
yellow onto my own
burning white sun.
It makes no sense
except for the chosen,
We speak slowly
to realise that
our words sound better
high pitched
and frenzy driven;
pseudo sum ciao.
We started with a bang
and vowed to end
it all in silence,
Misconceptions about
each other flow
as nirvana is reached
on both sides,
My lies were your lies
as war rages on above us.
hands etch
question marks
into immortal

15 Sep 10

Rated 10 (9.7) by 1 users.
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Mmm, a tasty piece.  Line 1 is a bit off-putting, 13-14 as well in the same vein, kind of a jumble of words and I'm not sure what you're getting at.  I'd like to hear more about the misconceptions in 31.  Otherwise this is quite a nice write-up, but I think it needs to be expanded on.
 — technomancer

Thanks technomancer. This was meant to be sort of an 'open to interpretation' piece. It's supposed to work on two levels about issues that people are most passionate about; relationships and religion. Give it another read and tell me if it still works? It's still a work in progress so I might be making some changes. Thanks again.
 — section4

Really nice poem, I will write again on it later.  nice work, lovely ending.
 — Estella

Thanks Estella, I'm glad you liked it.
 — section4

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