poetry critical

online poetry workshop

all tumble

i wish the moon could hide the night  
essential nocturnal light
not afforded to us
now we both sit  
fence dwellers  
spy-hole lockers
one hand equals time  
we pain together  
sometimes hurt alone,
encompassed only  
as two arms wrap  
tightly to our hollow space  
i have the patches,  
wanted to make a quilt, pull you under
keep you safe  
but all i could picture  
was a triangle, an arrow  
so i started sewing

19 Sep 10

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (2): 9, 9, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


excellent quentin tarantino.
 — mandolyn

pain together, I like that.
 — unknown

however i would take 'pull you under' from L16 and drop it down to L17 with "keep you safe" so it reads "pull you under, keep you safe"
 — mandolyn

 — unknown

This is for you x
 — Quen

we need to make another sail.
 — Estella

ah beautiful poem. love it. ED
 — unknown

omg estella is soooooo in love with you
 — unknown