poetry critical

online poetry workshop



have you me.
brokenarrows

lighter than longing
 1
your voice penetrates me,
 2
quietly trespassing inside inflamed halls
 3
that make my lungs,
 4
feather footsteps singe the lining,
 5
burn the blood vessels
 6
and effectively belie honest intentions.
 7
you do not break the bones
 8
but hollow them out,
 9
waiting for wind to fail wing.
 10
you make do as my very own impasse.
 11

13 Oct 10

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9
Inactive (0): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(69 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

very cool poem.  do you need line 4?  what do you think?  I think the rest is great though.
 — JKWeb

impasse...whoa! 'like this! :)
 — unknown

ln 4 ?

'effectively' in ln 7 ?

i enjoyed this.
 — unknown

0.466s