poetry critical

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the one thing i remember

i forget to eat breakfast (who can be bothered)
i forget to wash my hands (i don't usually play dirty)
i forget what makes it art (are illusions the only real truth?)
i forget to call my mother (she never forgets anything)
i forget to do the right thing (whatever that is, i haven't a clue)
i forget to wash my jackets (what doesn't touch me, isn't stained)
i forget to stand up for myself (i'm a martyr for the meek)
i forget if it's destiny or freewill (or if i need to care)
i forget how happy i was (and if i still have permission to be)
i forget why i hurt so bad (maybe hearts do die, eventually)
but i do remember watching you leave
feeling like the sun would rise again.

16 Oct 10

Rated 10 (8.3) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (7): 1, 4, 6, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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i forget why i don't write stuff more like this.
 — unknown

Interesting if a little clunky in parts
 — larrylark

 — unknown

This one rings a bell and is cleverly written and delightfully read.  It brought a number of smiles of recognition.  Being not at a point of making any critical judgements regarding form and style, the fact that it resonates with me is enough to give it high marks.
 — BuilderBob

the ending came an seemed apropos, but the the rest made it so. I was with you.
 — unknown

:-) Line 10 is the best. Maybe you shouldn't forget her/him. It makes you write poetry.
 — unknown

$ = get paid.
 — unknown

I surely like it but I wish you would only have it so; i forget to eat breakfast
            ;          &nbs p;          &nb sp;          &n bsp;          & nbsp;                     i forget to wash my hands
            ;          &nbs p;          &nb sp;          &n bsp;          & nbsp;                     i forget to pick up my paychecks
and then in the end Will i ever forget you! I liked the reading so much, i remember looking at my mother thinking the same way in line 12 and 13, quite moving for me, thanks, hulda
 — Hulda

 — ghost

love the build up to L12-13 and the simplicty of this.
i literally felt my heart leap.

have you built a snowman yet?
 — mandolyn