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Persimmon Forecast

Summer hangs heavy on me
drips from the corners of my mouth
like apricot nectar
from a less than perfect kiss.
In the distance I hear pheasants
cooing their strumpets
as I walk though the grove of birch
and bite again into my fruit.
Less sappy than before
I recant the words of Wilson Rawls:
"I've been out in storms like this
before, all by myself."
A line of river rock stacked
like marshmallow boule
directs me north; the wind
like the strumpets, blows south.
Grabbing myself by the collar
I tug it snug against the
sticky dewlap from my own undoing.
Like before, all by myself.
In the distance the
strumpets cry.

19 Oct 10

Rated 10 (10) by 2 users.
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persimmons are bitter
 — unknown

but they keep the spiders asway
 — unknown

and the ghosts
 — unknown

unk1...they are, indeed.

unk2/3...I hadn't thought this a Bowie song... you two are quite intuitive.
 — PaleHorse

*strumpets. :)

the only suggestion i have is to make the last two lines into one line.
but then that could make it worse. i never know what to say. especially with poems i really like. i love 13-14. this poem is yummy.

 — mandolyn

unk; ghosts haunt, thats what ghost do... DUH
you are wrong, ghosts have no tastebuds.
 — unknown

pale..mr.horse... bowie would bowie
 — unknown

unk; ghosts haunt, thats what ghost do... DUH
you are wrong, ghosts have no tastebuds.
— unknown

then why have I recently beheld such an overstuffed, fat-necked ghostess?
 — unknown

Persimmon, you outdid yourself :)
I am struck by your different language this time, can't really explain that, but it's an almost lonesome voice, completely contented.  Interesting to see some of the same words are used, that aren't of those initially selected (you'll see).  
Lines 9-16 are just lovely, you ended this so soundly.  Nice repetition as well,
Very nice!
 — Estella

perhaps your ghostess been eating too many persimmons and cream.
 — unknown

mandolyn, there you go with 'yummy' again. Line breaks are so subjective in today's poetry. Single or double, it prolly doesn't matter too much.

with all saints eve almost upon us, it's nice to see the ghosts haunting here.

Estella. the honor is all mine.
 — PaleHorse

 — unknown

very nice in L19
 — NicMichaels

Thank you nic
 — PaleHorse

13-16 still make me coo
 — jenakajoffer

yes, we should do this again. :)
 — PaleHorse

You know, I can't even remember the details...but how did I never tell you (or did I?) that this reminds me so of Where the Red Fern Grows? And I am a child again, except for the less than perfect kiss perhaps. Though how you wrote that first stanza makes me feel that there's no way that kiss couldn't be perfect. :)

Nice to retread this!
 — jenakajoffer