poetry critical

online poetry workshop

A Charred Christmas Bell

Removed to be in poetry book.

30 Oct 10

(define the words in this poem)
(190 more poems by this author)

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hi Linnac - wow! pretty prolific for a teenager! I skipped thru the back-list and noted not a lot of people were commenting then I dug up a load of crap I wrote when I was 15 - so kudos! The only suggestion I would make is to take more time on them to avoid forcing abbreviations like 'spensive. Try going off on a theme-tangent a little and READ THEM ALOUD and never accept any poem as finished - a lot of them will follow you through life and mature as you do. A simple example:

So monotone I speak
and monotone I stay
shadow smile in gratitude
on a beautiful Christmas grey.

Mind you gazebo rhyming with placebo made me smile! Good luck. Mitch :-)
 — pdemitchell