poetry critical

online poetry workshop

without words: essay on an Edwardian asymmetrical

only an old hat can articulate
a century,
          in wearing velvet. much posh
     and suffering
          around its brim -
               lightly promising forward
          with a single surviving

16 Nov 10

Rated 10 (7.9) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10
Inactive (6): 1, 2, 3, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)

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I think this is a great poem.

I was struck by the care taken with the title, use of “posh” in L3, inversion of the syntax in L6, the placement of “feather” alone on L8, as well as the great use of linebreaks and the shape of the poem

Were I to consider any change, it might be to insert a comma in L7 after “lightly”, but irrespectively, the poem works extremely well as it’s presented.

Thank you for this post.
 — Unknowable

i think the form of 'lightly' is to move the verb itself, overload it as a passive noun, a 'promising' as person in the poem, and not just a flavored pointer to feather. it's to endow feather with a face and personality, you might say. so, 'lightly promising' with the current of the poem, and isn't said from the shore.
 — bmikebauer

Mike, I have to admit... that actually makes sense.

Thanks for the explanation.

 — Unknowable

; )
 — fractalcore

Well written.  Seems to hark back in near fashion to some early modern poetry, first half of the 20th Century.  Imagism meets modern metaphysical poetry.  Sorta like an "Emperor -- Just to Say".

[Such cross-dressing is actually appealing to my eye.]

Enjambment -- spacing/breaks -- execution are tops.

Worthy to be noted, re-read.  

 — OldShoe

this is pretty good.

 — unknown

title is great

and l1 and 2 awesome

i felt it dwindled a bit after - but still an awesome poem.

 — unknown

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 — unknown