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backdropped by luminescence
OCTOGENARIAN

by the bay of my childhood
 1
grammy stretches out her arm
 2
holding bread,
 3
engulfed in angelic seagull wings
 4

21 Dec 10

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Comments:

simply titled "luminsecence" and with the first line struck, this would work.

as it is, i think know what you're going for, but it's too congested as presented.
 — NicMichaels

far too short
you love your grammy
so what
 — unknown

unk, an 'imagist' poem is a type of writing where you evoke a flash picture in the mind and the words go with it to keep it in motion, like making a little cinema  in your head. it's kind of a non-linear thing, and people looking for a story and plot really should be reading novels or watching t.v. sit-coms.
 — cadmium

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