|rooted / routed
the mornings of our lives
have found us:
yet fully sensing --
the blank infant's stare:
the slate tenderly and artistically
we have acquired fixed gazes
with logos on our faces
we proceed to carve a world
in our Image;
it was written:
the circumference of our skulls
is enough proof
that we possess the vision
to encircle the globe
but like satellites
we have no choice
but be anchored.
the evenings of our lives
will find us:
yet fully sensing.
8 Jan 11
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very gneiss sonics there, midperiphery.
i particularly like ||14-17, and how you
end the piece perfectly with the repeat
of 'myopic, yet fully sensing' and the
slight revamp of 'have found us:' to
'will find us:', making the piece go full
the comma after |9 is a great move, and
the absence of it after |10 gives it a run-on
edge and added dimension to my reading
of that strophe.
this has a slight prosy feel to it, too, but
negligible -- brilliant all in all.
looking forward to your next post.
may i know what made you write this?
thanks for the comment fractalcore. i admit that i'm used to writing prose, since i'm a bit new to poetry. this is my response to something which i have found annoying. poetry is such a nice outlet :)
what made me write this is people's tendency to be overly confident with their world view, and force it to other people, not realizing that they are slaves of their own perspective which has been shaped by other people.