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rooted / routed
midperiphery

the mornings of our lives
 1
have found us:
 2
 
 
myopic,
 3
yet fully sensing --
 4
 
 
the blank infant's stare:
 5
the slate tenderly and artistically
 6
vandalized...
 7
 
 
we have acquired fixed gazes
 8
before long,
 9
with logos on our faces
 10
we proceed to carve a world
 11
in our Image;
 12
 
 
it was written:
 13
 
 
the circumference of our skulls
 14
is enough proof
 15
that we possess the vision
 16
to encircle the globe
 17
 
 
but like satellites
 18
we have no choice
 19
but be anchored.
 20
 
 
the evenings of our lives
 21
will find us:
 22
 
 
myopic,
 23
yet fully sensing.
 24

8 Jan 11

Rated 10 (10) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10
Inactive (0): 10, 10

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Comments:

very gneiss sonics there, midperiphery.
i particularly like ||14-17, and how you
end the piece perfectly with the repeat
of 'myopic, yet fully sensing' and the
slight revamp of 'have found us:' to
'will find us:', making the piece go full
circle.

the comma after |9 is a great move, and
the absence of it after |10 gives it a run-on
edge and added dimension to my reading
of that strophe.

this has a slight prosy feel to it, too, but
negligible -- brilliant all in all.

looking forward to your next post.

: )
 — fractalcore

may i know what made you write this?

: )
 — fractalcore

thanks for the comment fractalcore. i admit that i'm used to writing prose, since i'm a bit new to poetry. this is my response to something which i have found annoying. poetry is such a nice outlet :)
 — midperiphery

what made me write this is people's tendency to be overly confident with their world view, and force it to other people, not realizing that they are slaves of their own perspective which has been shaped by other people.
 — midperiphery

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