poetry critical

online poetry workshop



eye see ewe
fractalcore

down
 1
fall of dawn
 2
dawning
 3
down
 4
 
 
leaves
 5
on snow
 6
knowing
 7
 
 
leaves
 8
on ground
 9
hope
 10
 
 
to sea ewe
 11
on yore feat
 12
 
 
soon
 13
sun
 14




written
for my mother

VIOLETA
[11.3.50 - 1.18.11*]


during her last hours in the ICU


with all the love
in the multiverse
---{@



      ____
     __/__
       /\
     /   \
fractalcore
     x*,




* not all palindromes are pleasant

17 Jan 11

Rated 10 (10) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10
Inactive (1): 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(205 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

believe..she will :)
 — softyetharsh

good luck. stock up on antibiotics and make sure your medical insurance premiums are up to date.
 — unknown

as mother of only one—a son, my heart is hostage to this apple (pomme)
 — lysandre

thanks, all.

i will miss her for the rest
of my life.

:'(
 — fractalcore

oh lovely!! loverly. thanks.
 — unknown

nice tribute poem.
 — JKWeb

she'll be laid to rest tomorrow.
thank you, everyone.


love,

    ____
   __/__
     /\
    /  \
fractalcore
     : )
 — fractalcore

1.18.11*


* not all palindromes are pleasant

x*,
 — fractalcore

:(
i'm so sorry frac.

it's nice to see you back.
 — mandolyn

thanks for stopping by, mandee.

x*,
 — fractalcore

oh dear fract,
i had no idea,
unite, i hope you are doing well

this poem is a lovely gift,
take care woent you
be happy
=-)
 — jenakajoffer

intensive care. lovely. :(
Eugene
 — unknown

thanks, jen and eugene.

she had parkinsons for 6 years,
plus a few other afflictions.

but, i celebrate life as it is.

; )
 — fractalcore

happy mother's
       day!
      ---{@

        ____
       __/__
         /\
        /  \
   fractalcore
     x*,
 — fractalcore

oohhhhh violeta is such a lovely name!!! Vanilla Ice
 — unknown

thank you.
; )
 — fractalcore

it's been a year now.
i miss you, mother...

:\
 — quantumbrane

feel her comfort now, find it within thyself and in thy sadness. missing someone dearly is most difficult.
 — unknown

thank you, unk.

:\
 — fractalcore

nice poem
 — chuckle_s

very direct writing, directly expressing an emotion and not a talk about what you were feeling at the time: showing exactly what you felt, in concision -- letting yourself be the feeling, without the usual light-hearted ironic detachment.

i really feel that it would be better not to be a poet than to have to go through everything so deeply, over and over and have no solution but creating on your own some kind of world to keep living in. in these situations people just get drunk and pass out, and escape instead of entering a strange world of negativity, of what isn't anymore and without happiness, writing a poem and seeing what's left inside so you can at least have something to help you breath, something like a world -- out of coldness and florescent lying light and fake temperatures and impartial nurses and doctors and so much machine.

how you used 'down' twice like this, showing musical evidence of the feeling itself as a physical thing, ringing in our head, and how you showed that day and those moments turning over with each individual stanza a moment of connection with her and you.
 — cadmium

the sounds are like a drum-beat, a heart-beat diminishing in return ...
 — AlchemiA

a happy mother's day to ever-one who still has his/her mother around.

: )
 — fractalcore

nice one, fract :)
 — jenakajoffer

thank you, jen.
:)
 — fractalcore

0.45s