|if you went (2) involves wood
it's not that i'm a twat
or that i'm twaddling
it's not that i'm selfish
or smell like sardines in a can
it's that it's groundhog day
and i believed in promise,
a shadow beneath your dark skin
and now i find you automated
like that robot i fucked in the 80's
it drove a ford
liked ham and cheese
and all i think about is carrying three cats
two black, one blonder
like a hairy oreo of sorts
2 Feb 11
Rated 10 (7.3) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10
Inactive (6): 1, 1, 1, 9, 10, 10, 10
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oh good god.
i am so not watering your plants anymore
"hairy oreo" made this entirely worth reading.
Dammit--I really wanted to know who wrote this!
let them lie
they will sprout
and grow you
anyone wanna play 'guess who'?
i liked groundhog better (last line)
cactus is so obviously you.
"So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore.."
I second the goundhog motion!
yes, yes you are right about the hog
This really deserves more than my hairy oreo comment. Weird and funny with some truly spectacular visuals. Thanks for putting the groundhog back. Hairy oreos....I'm still laughing!
syb- you do realize the author hates my guts, and more than just my guts, but my veins and skin and hair and everything beneath my marrow. it's rather intense.
i have to admire this.
but he knows darn well it wasn't a ford.
Oh, c'mon and sign your name to this!
Oops, I forgot you're welcome, unk.
Mandolyn--how d'ya know who it is...?
My prairie dog saw its shadow.
Six more weeks of bad satire.
fuck guts and veins
i'm so hungry i could devour your soul
no shit-shoe, did it wink?
L29 sounded better the way it was
syb- we live on separate cul-de-sacs and he is always throwing rocks into my yard.
Yes. It winked. But only after sleeping with my ex-wife.
whoa. dat some adrenalin!!
i am deeply unimpressed by the lack of "casual racism" in this poem
i am deeply unimpressed
i am beginning to think he is a she.
Wanna play guess who?
"Thus Spoke Zarathustra"
in answer to your question
i'd wolf the entire plant down whole
a peckish puckish poem
Wanna play guess who?
yes, i reckon it's cuntshoes.
Fret not: got a fixation on words like 'irk'? get thee to dunkirk without jerking the squirts because we've got news for you:: learn how to write real poetry without having to resort to stealing impoverished metaphors with propensity towards redundant self immolation. Did your poetry professor eat graham crackers in bed with flipper? Fret not: we write you the big dipper without zippers but very very fuzzy slippers. We ground you in infantry infantasizing rhyme while turning style into snow pile of irreconcilable rubbing ducks in mockery. Sick of the faux see see cummings with cumin while sittin on the loo with putin kind of punctuation? Get with the manifest spectacles: we write your ratable and non debatable data based poems for you for a small fee. Dont forget, left alignment is going out of consignment and it never hurts to consult pavlov about the type of dunlop balls you use, unless of course you got lightbulb screwtiny on the mutiny.
These 'If you were hungry' poems are starting to piss me off
Oldshoe?--I'd have never guessed!
Verbose Unk--c'mon, lighten up, there are some fun and fabulous lines in here.
i don't think it is shoe - and i know it's not me. otherwise no idea.
no, it's not shoe. the person is making fun of me and shoe in this poem, why, i have no clue. but i have to admire their time and effort into this, as it is pretty hilarious. if only they would change L29-30 back to it's original, then i might give it a 10.
"buried at your root" -- that line is spectacular. labia? funny, but no.
yeah some of it is not bad, i like 7/8
Hairy oreo did it for me. I'm not sure I can ever eat an oreo again though...
C'mon poet--reveal thyself!
the poem is fine.
the comments are nauseating.
they won't syb...just bask in the hairy oreo line ~
it's that i'm homeless in the mountains 3
and it's snowing 4
i'm cold on the floor of a bear cave 5
with no blankets, 6
i would have to kill a bear with my bare hands 7
just to keep warm, you fuck (I love this part the most, hell yeah.
This whole thing is pretty fucking awesome.
Hey, I got a question for you. If you were a hot dog and you were starving, would you eat yourself? I know I would! :-)
if you wanted a good poem and you saw one with a really long and really boring title, would you read it?
this is Yours??
i kinDA WANNA HEAR -- sorry -- caps james carvil read this one a loud when he's talking bout the 'bush' years.
no chance honey.
nice poem, jen.
oops sorry, not jen, sir i meant. (i must have jen on the brain, but who can help it, she's a hotty, no) you are a lucky guy clanned one.
shit, she is almost enough to make me turn.
you know, i think i remember reading this before. it is based on someone elses poem, no?
too awesome in any case.
cheers for the read, ten from me.
sir and i wrote this together...his genius contribution is in lines 38-44, as you can probably detect the difference in tonality. :)
i jousted burped
wow, never ssaw that, you sound like a cunt.
truck is green.
wrong poem, cunt...the other one's about a truck. :)
"hairy oreo" is definetely an instant classic.
as classic as those two claw tipped cunt lips you call ears
she's a hog
omg you SUCK!
even if you weren't drunk from a three day long enema, you'd still be lame as shit
nowthat's twat i call some major cuts
The byronic man
i always hated this poem
that's what is is
and now it's reaching infancy...
can you post the earlier version?
twood ve so nice
oh wouldn't it beeeeee loverly
(echo one pitch hiegher: loverly
MIght i enquire where one might find said robot?
Im extememely interestiend
Yes, i thought it was childish at first too.
But damned if i didnt begin to see the artistic merit in it after finding out that jen had written it.
IT'S NAT THAT IM A TWAAYYYYYYYYYYYYT
OR THEYT IMA TWAYYYYYYYDALING
my name is james carvil
and this has been a private session for your poetry pleasure
red to you
on a magic flying red carpet machine
with one lil ficcus in the middle that i water
with my james carvil piddle nawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwt to mention
anchoring my own fly donw
thank you. i would like to thank myself for having good connections in low flying destainations.
i love you carvil
likei love my anvil
^^^ oh ooops.
not suppposed to reveal my REAL NAME
ok. now where was we before the pundit from timbukfukintootoot stuck his fly in here?
oh right . .. who wrote this poem? fess up!!