poetry critical

online poetry workshop

silent song of the grey dove

I am a bird in ice
white frost dangles
from what was once a blaze of blue
that streaked along my back
like summer lakes
where children fed me

8 Feb 11

(define the words in this poem)
(124 more poems by this author)

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I really like this. It is very delicate. I feel like it could be expanded - maybe think about what makes it a song? What makes it silent? What is the role of time? Just things to ponder.
 — Erowen

thanks so much for your comments

dangles sounds rather peculiar. I like everything else, however. Your poem is simple, sweet and poignant. If I can think of a replacement for "dangles," I'll return. If not, I will leave you and your pretty writing alone.
 — unknown