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After birth interment

How we’d like it buried
just like I,
who sees all freely
if I were cremated indeed.
I’d shed a tear
as you would;
read it somewhere
wandering and lost.
I have no feel --
into specters,
we walk this death march.

10 Feb 11

Rated 10 (9.3) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (1): 8, 10, 10

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final line:

we walk this death march (a mere suggestion)

I find l12 original and beautiful.
 — unknown

i'd be tired to walk if i were a ghost. walking is honorable though
 — unknown

still love the antics. keeps me smiling at the wake.
agreed. instead, we walk this death march
to the mausoleum.
 — unknown

I have no feel--
 — unknown

l12 is slippery and precise. I admire it.
 — lysandre

you would
 — unknown

thanks unknowns and lysandre. trying to make this better for good
 — unknown

you mean this?
 — unknown

just wondering if punctuations were marked right here. please? thanks
 — unknown

Author, change "I" to "me" in l 2.
Your punctuation isn't traditionally correct, but it doesn't jar at all. It's
pleasing to the eye.
 — unknown

is the use of 'I' gramatically wrong? maybe i was confusing it with 'eye' (rofl). i'll get back. thanks 'unknowingly'! :)
 — unknown

confusing 'I' and 'me'

well, 'I' here is the subject of a clause, thereby use here is technically right.
 — unknown

how many 'heres' do i have to say it?
 — unknown

"I" is wrong. "like" is a preposition here isn't it? Either way (like as verb or preposition, you require an object > me.
 — unknown

not sure if this is ruined. thanks for the technical discussion. will get back once flaws are noticeable.
 — unknown

I haven’t thought of debating whether to kill myself when my eyes hurt; if in the speed of below I’d jump; make it a bridgend – roped; and if I begin tonight would you remember me to an aged cello?

I forget I was already staring this after birth interment. I’m not sure if hand-in-hand with Luxy, Abracadabra, JKWeb, X.
 — unknown

reverted to original with the use of "I".
 — unknown

 — unknown

Intricate interlaid eloquence. Burying this part of a human--part mother, part child. It's like burying a myth!
 — Seditswing

. . thanks :(
 — softyetharsh

negligible edits.
thanks to all :)
 — unknown

a few edits after deletion :
 — Ex_

 — Ex_

stands still
 — unknown