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Morning embraces me and we keep each other warm
My eyes blink in coffee
sparrows serenade the flight of their dotted wings
The clouds and I gather around their song
but the luster of the jewel
that hovers over my head disappears
and skips down
overhanging green trails
I walk like a tattered soldier to find it

9 Mar 11

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Oh I do like this.  I would suggest taking out all the I, me, and my's...just try it.  Except maybe, L2.

For instance: L6: that hovers over disappears...

that sounds much sweeter to me.  Just my opinion though.  Oh and add some punctuation, this needs it ;)

take care, thanks for the read!
 — Known

we keep each other warm, L1 and then no further mention of the we ?
 — unknown

thanks for the comments