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you and me, green
jenakajoffer

i sleep with your pillow-
 1
slip, kiss it
 2
breathe it
 3
knead it beneath the eider
 4
a reminder
 5
how we thrashed
 6
how we cooked our bed
 7
 
 
i dream you by sea
 8
cockles in pocket
 9
your hair
 10
like tree-moss,
 11
you become water stew
 12
and you're not irish
 13
you hate cabbage
 14
hate what remained
 15
of that split-pea pillow
 16
 
 
our restless sleep
 17
becomes tattered;
 18
a memoir,
 19
a stitch for that old
 20
wildflower–
 21
what became of bloom,
 22
of apple-seed and womb–
 23
what left in such haste
 24
vanishes
 25
into the dark jungle
 26
of time
 27
 
 
and time
 28
becomes envy
 29
becomes island and goat
 30
and longing is meadow
 31
a coffin of earth
 32
 
 
and seed
 33
becomes child
 34
becomes leaf or iguana,
 35
clinging to tree
 36
their greenness a kind
 37
of grief
 38
 
 
always grief
 39
as the banjo cries
 40
little maggie,
 41
a single tune fretting
 42
like a body falling
 43
apart
 44
and i become
 45
falling
 46
half-sleeping
 47
half a country away
 48
from any ocean
 49
 
 
where live
 50
becomes pine
 51
as limestone waves
 52
crash against
 53
our spine
 54
our heads, like lettuce
 55
in the chop of the storm
 56
 
 
and we jade, as we lie
 57
in the most beautiful bed
 58
in the world,
 59
and we live
 60
 
 
we live nowhere
 61
but here.
 62

17 Mar 11

Rated 10 (8.3) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7, 10
Inactive (15): 1, 1, 1, 7, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

Happy St. Patricks Day!
:)

Love this. (I'm surprised at the amount of dash going on)
 — mandolyn

Happy St. Paddy to you as well, did you wear green today?

i nipped tucked the dashes
may still need weeding.  thank you for reading
this post, posted so coincidentally.  
 — jenakajoffer

Great job Jen! Very green through and through.  Green can also be the color of the heart and this shows.  Flow and sound are the highlights for me here.  Soft in some places, sharp in others and all mixed together nicely.  Wonderful read.
Take care,
K
 — Known

I did wear green. I wore my favorite green hoodie, which I wear a lot. I love green.

the revision is much nicer, without so many dashes.
still a magnificent read ~
 — mandolyn

loved this one. thanks. Ed
 — unknown

This one is really wonderful, Jen! I' am amazed by your detail, by each new color and feelings that comes forth in your poetry. kuds, best regards.
 — unknown

Surely Colcannon can make anybody like cabbage. Its such a wonderful dish
 — unknown

no rating because you unknown :-(
 — unknown

i fricking Love this!!  your voice  how it shifts here

and time  28
becomes envy  29
becomes island and goat  30
and longing is meadow  31
a coffin of earth  32
    
and seed  33
becomes child  34
becomes leaf or iguana,  35
clinging to tree  36
their greenness, a kind  37
of grief


And where are all your poems gone to asshole  :-)
 — unknown

The 28-38 tempo and structure were sublime but the variations elsewhere were excellent but not as strong.  Well worth the tens. Mitch :-)
 — pdemitchell

green-0000--- perfect for envy
 — unknown

"And where are all your poems gone to asshole"  haha, wow that is some funny shit.
thank you Mitch and un-know-it-alls

is the 1 a result of the envy?  very cool :)
 — jenakajoffer

I really was boggle using progressive custom term papers for the first-ever tide. Butdirectly I am veritable clientand advise everyone use them. Custom research papers service is your arcanum.
 — unknown

Line 50:   "live" or "life?"  
 — unknown

live, you idiot
 — unknown

Hello lovely jj,

your writing invariably allures and ensnares me.
Never the less, I stumbled when I reached l 30. Goat? Perhaps sacrificed in honour of Ibraham, but wouldn't a sheep be more befitting?

I love your variegated shades of green: tree-moss, cabbage, split-pea, lettuce, and jade. Jade is my favourite inasmuch as I've lost most of my feckless appetite.
 — lysandre

i like this one the most of your colour poems. though, i relate to some of the others more - i think this is better writing.

28-49 and the 'becomes' give me goosebumps. i can imagine you sitting there typing them in a breathless rush - they're wonderful.

i become falling is an awesome line. makes me want to wrap it up into my life and put it somewhere i can touch it when i want to feel something exquisite.

what colour is next? how about purple? although someone once told me purple is the colour of sexual frustration - although i don't know how true that is. to me purple is grimace. and the town where i live, filled with jacarandas. such an awesomely and beautifully picturesque yet boring little town

i'm moving back to sydney in two months though. woohoo.

great poem.

definite fave - it is just so you.
 — fortuitous

i love 17-21 too.
 — fortuitous

l12 is awesome as well. that line reminds me of me ;-)
 — fortuitous

i loved reading your comment, fortitude
thank you =-)

not sure about purple, just a bruise
and someone told me the other day that i was done with 'you and me'
so...  :(
 — jenakajoffer

no - stay with the 'you and me'. i think they are wonderful....different perspectives of looking at relationships. as a series i think they are great.
 — fortuitous

wow, thank you.  i know the theme can get a bit tiring, as i've been told by someone who bought a red truck for himself (jerk <3) but on the other hand i have never had a series or ever thought i would want to write one like this, and it just sort of happened that way.  i have fun with them.  purple would be cool.
 — jenakajoffer

why did you take your picture down?
to paraphrase Leonard Cohen:

you are so beautiful it hurts to look at you.

Have you heard about the agony in your sister province?
Adam Benhamma, a three-year-old autistic child, gone missing

possibly taken by the river?

That photograph of you could flip me in an instant.

best wishes
 — lysandre

dear lysandre, oh green one, oh fairest insectivore,
what a compliment to be treated, thank you :)

i have heard the news of the poor child.  i cannot bear to think of it
as we have sons, (and i, daughter) to close for the heart to wander into those woods.
i have my scares.  i am hoping and praying he is safe somewhere.  xo

flip you in an instant, i am much to innocent and naive to see into that one.
;)
 — jenakajoffer

am seriously enjoying the series of these 'colour' poems you have written, jen .. am in literary awe :)
 — jharrison

literary awe, sorry that made me laugh, no disrespect intended!  maybe i'm just feeling a bit sheepish...:)

thank you jenni, i am happy to hear that.
 — jenakajoffer

heh, banjo
 — unknown

ahh it is true. you can relate. or so it seems. lol im young so some of this confused me.
 — firerocket

I thought I had commented on this...apparently not!  Love this series Jen.  39-49 and 58-63 are my favorite parts.
 — sybarite

hello shady grove, where's ma banjo fly... :)

firerocket, what's confusing about water stew...hehe, just joking.  your youth is lovely.

sybarite, thank you, i am truly surprised and happy to know that some people are enjoying my 'series'.   =-)
 — jenakajoffer

"Cockles in pocket" made me smile. Great line.
 — zita

oooooooh lots of goodies here tonight. another great one.
 — funes

thank you zita,

hey there funie, thanks for the read.

=-)
 — jenakajoffer

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