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welcome to the club
softyetharsh

you were drawn
 1
I got you to this place
 2
made comfortable
 3
acquainted you with the air
 4
 
 
I forewarned heckling
 5
people scowl and berate
 6
  s  c a  t t    e  r    applause
 7
a culture easily recognized
 8
knowing your capacity to indulge
 9
a roller coaster ride.
 10
 
 
I sat with you
 11
long hours of nights
 12
   hinted flaws
 13
   seductive mentoring
 14
   a beginning foreplay
 15
 
 
mumblings drawing attention
 16
-I quieted.
 17
a nosy crowd smelling fish
 18
of who you are.
 19
(a usual stance) your still-
 20
exchanged raw scribbles in X
 21
got the hang of poignant slabs
 22
kept yourself busy
 23
                                for the kill.
 24

18 Mar 11


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Comments:

...It feels like there are words missing from this?  Is that purposeful?  I love the effect of L6.  Some lines were a real joy but overall this poem missed me.  Nice ending notes though too.  Highs and lows here, leave it out to dry for a while and then iron the wrinkles out and you'd have a great poem.  Best wishes!
K
 — Known

best wishews to you too, mr. baggy pants
 — unknown

thanks Known for your scrutiny. it's all i could afford to edit at this time. Unknown, i dunno what to say to you :P
 — unknown

i believe roller coaster is w/o dash
 — unknown

ruined. baby, welp! ;P
 — unknown

welcome :)
 — unknown

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