|I Am Cursed
b l a c k
and sinew is
spell cursed peasants
the messiah’s wrath
6 May 11
Rated 10 (7.6) by 2 users.
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(define the words in this poem)
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this actually works better as a warped diamond. i like the concept and the subject. i think you could work this even more so that you replaced it with more weighted words that somehow locked and tied this box up even tighter.
but keep the slanted shape.
when you were unknown, nobody commented web? people are ignorant. i like this.
bullshit coward unknown, please do not include my ignorance with other 'people'. it is only i, me, myself, that is ignorant.
you should have the nuts to address me by my name, in your bad manners not to, you have gone and implied that all others are my equal. you are incorrect. i am beneath everybody.
please do not include others in your spiteful and opinionated observations of myself.
^settle down son, wasn't talking to you - just the opposite, was referring to the 'lack' of comments.
I'm glad you were able to detect the warped diamond as I had evisioned the shape before I started with the syntax-- and you're right in that the words can be more "weighty" and that's something I'll have to look at and work on in the near future. I have a few ideas so... thanks---I appreciate it.
thanks for reading and commenting. did take a little while but I'm glad you stopped by. gratitude
just love the shape!! makes me want to twirl the end of Dali's mustache and pull!! thanks F
awesome! JKWeb, we must be on the same wavelength! Shape has been showing its diamond face in my mind too. Well done this, well done!
thanks a bunch
glad you dig the form
and appreciate the feedback.
thank U2 Known,
coincidently, I saw your thread after posting and was thinking,
"what the dealio?"
but am glad you like nonetheless.
Well I'll Be.
This is something.
hope that means you dig it unknown. thanks for the visit.
Hi JK - I dug it - 'shape' poetry usually sucks but this has the depth to pull it off. Pity the converter requires a period on Line 1 Mitch:-)
thanks for reading and comment pdemitch-
yeah, formatting can be tricky,
even if you cut and paste from word
it might turn out wonky.
Web, I hate to say this but all that diversionary activity only takes the gloss of your words and what you really should be up to. You're way too good a poet to design martinis, etc on the page in your spare time.
thanks unknown. as you may have guessed, I like to try new angles once in a while. some of the "concrete" poems I've seen here on PC are amazing and I've been influenced quite a bit. I can appreciate what you're saying in that certain forms might restrict and set boundries on the syntax tho'. thanks again.
amazing how you were able to
squeeze those words into that
perfectly-shaped and skewed
not bad at all.
thanks fractalcore for dropping in and digging the diamond.
thank you much AlchemiA for reading and brief comment.