poetry critical

online poetry workshop



a parenthetical parrot finds a summer mirror
unknown

and when i hear your voice
 1
when i hear footsteps at my door
 2
 
 
[how you return to me then!]
 3
 
 
when i was but a boyish thing
 4
no taller than a three-railed fence
 5
 
 
digging up stones beneath the maples
 6
along the copper hayfield edge
 7
 
 
to catch salamanders, pocket them
 8
mind you
 9
 
 
[were you only with me then!]
 10
 
 
spotted-yellow, redback, orange speckled
 11
and squirming through my hands
 12
 
 
among the local chorus, dragonfly buzz
 13
throughout the wild bayberry hedge
 14
 
 
[i’d love you, were you to wade the river]
 15
 
 
and minnow after minnow, silver line
 16
darts through the brook-side cattail stems
 17
 
 
crayfish, boatmen, and bullfrog croaks
 18
all along your hiked-dress hems
 19

21 Jun 11

Rated 10 (10) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10, 10
Inactive (5): 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

i love your poem

this was a delight to me today.
 — jenakajoffer

i don't like the intro...
 — jenakajoffer

it's a work in translation, transition, triangulation

and was on its way out anyway
 — OldShoe

fuck me, it's yours?
 — jenakajoffer

the big black bug bled black blood?

fuck you, its mine?
 — OldShoe

Not me.  Couldn't be. Wasn't me.
 — OldShoe

bumped black bug's banana boxes breaking baby bird's blue balloon.

fuck.
 — jenakajoffer

My tits aren't big enough for the both of us.

You'll have to paddle out on your own.
 — OldShoe

This is a wistfully beautiful poem.  Enjoyed very much.  
 — mtharp

And then you die!!!!!!
 — unknown

polly want a wog?

cwackers
 — unknown

"Death comes equally to us all, and makes us all equal when it comes."

- Donne
 — OldShoe

This is gold, my friend, of the poetry magazine variety.
 — aurelius

brilliant.

the sonics are just so soothing.
 — DeformedLion

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