poetry critical

online poetry workshop

a parenthetical parrot finds a summer mirror

and when i hear your voice
when i hear footsteps at my door
[how you return to me then!]
when i was but a boyish thing
no taller than a three-railed fence
digging up stones beneath the maples
along the copper hayfield edge
to catch salamanders, pocket them
mind you
[were you only with me then!]
spotted-yellow, redback, orange speckled
and squirming through my hands
among the local chorus, dragonfly buzz
throughout the wild bayberry hedge
[i’d love you, were you to wade the river]
and minnow after minnow, silver line
darts through the brook-side cattail stems
crayfish, boatmen, and bullfrog croaks
all along your hiked-dress hems

21 Jun 11

Rated 10 (10) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10, 10
Inactive (5): 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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(2 users consider this poem a favorite)

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i love your poem

this was a delight to me today.
 — jenakajoffer

i don't like the intro...
 — jenakajoffer

it's a work in translation, transition, triangulation

and was on its way out anyway
 — OldShoe

fuck me, it's yours?
 — jenakajoffer

the big black bug bled black blood?

fuck you, its mine?
 — OldShoe

Not me.  Couldn't be. Wasn't me.
 — OldShoe

bumped black bug's banana boxes breaking baby bird's blue balloon.

 — jenakajoffer

My tits aren't big enough for the both of us.

You'll have to paddle out on your own.
 — OldShoe

This is a wistfully beautiful poem.  Enjoyed very much.  
 — mtharp

And then you die!!!!!!
 — unknown

polly want a wog?

 — unknown

"Death comes equally to us all, and makes us all equal when it comes."

- Donne
 — OldShoe

This is gold, my friend, of the poetry magazine variety.
 — aurelius


the sonics are just so soothing.
 — DeformedLion