|my thoughts of you ferment
you press my face
into your book
into a page that doesn't bend
into a paper skiff
preserving my petals
because you could not love me
like you wanted to–
pausing on the shore
you watch the evening hug me;
a bee sniffing the sand
these frothed hands i drown–
my veins swell with time
my flesh begins to fidget
while you crave me in the ocean
i punch the first thing
that moves across the sea
that rows to me
24 Jun 11
Rated 9 (7.3) by 1 users.
Inactive (2): 4, 9, 9
(define the words in this poem)
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Chablis De Loir ! ! !
It seems those thoughts fermented into an intoxicating poem. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
and bopsy twins
i like the title and the last stanza hits me because its weird and strange...lick us off the the wall.
it's a bunch of code gone soft
mm hmm yup
ferment? or foament?
my thoughts of you foament?
thank you for the read.
my thoughts of you foo-fight
"and i was klung foo fightin . . . "
(oh wow. im lame!!)
i am tempted to turn this into a pillow foo-fight
Love the picture with this one! Intense. :)))
^ LIke Pete said
15 is the best line.
though if this "other" is in the ocean wont his book go soggy?
1-2 is a trick of the eye, but cross reference it with the last line. dumb ol' facebook (is it 'ol or ol') or maybe it's lol. ;)
i just spent 30 minutes on this jerk
That's so funny I don't remember commenting on this..it seems you erased the parts I liked or was talking about..I really have trouble revising old poetry for me it's kind of a done deal after a couple of days go by I've moved on to other fish...
haha my thoughts of you foo fight. ^^^^^^^^^^
brother sun, sorry i deleted the old one. it had too many holes. the format was all wrong and i hated the fact it resembled facebook.
thanks, unknown... the double 'so' is bugging me up there.
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