poetry critical

online poetry workshop



my glove
DeformedLion

one night of rain
 1
leaves and light
 2
sucked into puddles,
 3
the road weaves in
 4
wet, sleeve myself
 5
into it.
 6
 
 
dreams of red scarves
 7
tailing into wind, the search
 8
for us feels frivolous,
 9
your gems glitter among
 10
headlights, and my hands
 11
disconnect, sleeves again.
 12
 
 
i eel, you water,
 13
and i think of salt
 14
and swallows.  
 15
 
 
we find ourselves in an alcove-
 16
that real thing of breathing,
 17
tastes less than those silts of
 18
dreaming, finding warmth in
 19
just being.
 20
 
 
i said something and the wind
 21
took it, you smiled though and i could see
 22
my life curl, loving you
 23
 
 
shared gold, watching the trees
 24
grow old.
 25
 
 
its when i close my eyes,
 26
and the rain pounds,
 27
that i seem to lose you
 28
score myself blue for you.
 29
 
 
lose my hands to the frost,
 30
and you will pick them up and
 31
sleeve them for me,
 32
and in the warmth of your touch
 33
they spark, and in the
 34
poem i can't write
 35
i will bleed slow
 36
and steady words
 37
of love
 38
and let them sail
 39
on the ocean.
 40

25 Jun 11

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (1): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(368 more poems by this author)

(3 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

stunning. beautiful. thank you!! F
 — unknown

line 2 is my only complaint.

i need not say anything more, do i.
 — jenakajoffer

Sentimental
 — unknown

thanks,

perhaps more than just L2 to complain about, yes? feels kind of fat to me.
 — DeformedLion

goddamn you.
 — jenakajoffer

when i first read this it felt like it was written for me.

that's what makes such a good poem.
 — jenakajoffer

0.354s