poetry critical

online poetry workshop

the crack whore

looks like
any other
middle aged
caucasian woman
in line
at the grocery store.
started smoking a little on the weekends
then a pinch
and another pinch
and she was being dispatched
to various motels
by a man named ray-ray
who paid her
in just enough crack
to keep her viable.
she takes ambien
to sleep at night
and xanax
to function during the day.
she's out of both
at the moment
having been shipped
to a halfway house
in des moines iowa
by the federal bureau
of prisons.
i'd like to
give her a hug
tell her everything
will be ok.
but that kind of
human decency
would get me fired.
my coworker
her handcuffs.
back against the wall,
i say
taking her picture.

21 Jul 11

Rated 8 (8.2) by 4 users.
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(7 users consider this poem a favorite)

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 — unknown

You're a beautiful soul to write something like this.  So sad.  :-(
L's 28-40 are heartwrenchingly perfect.  Good work!  :-)
 — starr

How sad and beautiful at the same time.  Excellent telling.  

I would love to see the ending as, "taking her picture as gently as I can."  As if even the flash will wound her.
 — Isabelle5

I agree with Starr and Isabelle, this is both beautiful and sad.  Very well written, displaying the compassionate soul of the author.
 — mtharp

You guys are nuts when he is objectifying women in his other poems what do u say then
 — unknown

As long as he writes it well, does it matter?
 — Isabelle5

Exactly aesthetics trumps morality
 — unknown

This is poetry.  If Justin were out humping women and posting videos, I wouldn't be watching.  It's not a morality issue for me, it's reading poetry.
 — Isabelle5

Stunning, grabs you and pulls you briefly into her world.
 — stan

I really enjoyed your use of human decency and the picture of this woman looking like any other woman
 — unknown

i don't think you need so many run-on-lines to put emotion across.
 — greenmantle

A story, not a poem.
Good one, though.
 — aurelius

i like this... A LOT. um. wow. thank you for posting
 — dvdsxr

This comment has been suspended by a moderator.

This is a lovely portrait of both the crackhead and the narrator.
 — CaseyPowers

Awesome....All I can say..
 — Triz

This comment has been suspended by a moderator.

This comment has been suspended by a moderator.

Get a life - smoke a herbal cigarette from a thrift shop and blow some smooth poetry rather than this sullied work
 — unknown

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This is the perfect precursor to the poem "Body Cavity" by Ross Martin
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