poetry critical

online poetry workshop



'paradoxymoron'
fractalcore

erratum:
 1
 
 
but, yes, indeed,
 2
transparency is paramount,
 3
qwhite tantamount to boredom,
 4
or 'boring', at times...
 5
 
 
with all that beating around,
 6
the bush will render the drums
 7
 
 
deaf --
 8
 
 
the bush will, ultimately,
 9
grow some gray hair
 10
and grrray matter
 11
with built-in -- or, built-out[?] --
 12
ear mufflers in grey areas...
 13
 
 
drummers and dreamers,
 14
howling at the sun,
 15
flinching at the moon --
 16
 
 
the wolf is the cave,
 17
contemplating the swan
 18
wave,
 19
 
 
black in its belly,
 20
dancing:
 21
 
 
rap-fire-poem-pi'aum.
 22




http://imageshack.us/f/13/screenshot001dm.png/

http://tinyurl.com/Here-sSomeParadoxymoronFave

and, here's another:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wepAxJ6BN30

---{@


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fractalcore
     : )

21 Aug 11

Rated 10 (7.8) by 3 users.
Active (3):
Inactive (3): 1, 1, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

The Primacy of Consciousness
begins in perplexity
as the absurd man
arrives at the nature of reality
without conclusions
without religion
without the state
without science
without fate
without knowing
without believing
perfectly paradoxically conscious
of all the incongruities converging into the
moment he crosses the street...
 — AlchemiA

i really like this it feels very surreal like a charlie kaufman movie script except on autopilot...
 — brother_sun

love the title
 — PaleHorse

poetry is a culture and a craft. some people are buzzed by a music box, that clingy thing, and think violins are too shrieky....

the critique of a poem based on what it says about something is like saying that you like the tune a music box is playing. sometimes, a music box is delightful. but, to the musical, one first chord of a string quartet is a new world of music.

constantly commenting that someone's poem makes you feel good is really a critique of yourself, of your sensibility. it's a burst of enthusiasm, blind and feeling, and could be said about anything that pops up from the jack in the box, anything which didn't scare you. we all feel this about a poem, but a poet feels something else: how the poet made it work.

what about how the poem was put together? about what the poet kept from saying, holding to the initial image and not yielding to commenting on how clever the image is?
 — trashpoodle

transparamount...
 — aliar

thanks, ever-one.

:p
 — fractalcore

quantoom boompfh...

:p
 — fractalcore

?
 — unknown

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