poetry critical

online poetry workshop

The Thìnkìng Man’s Reçìpé

quick ìncision
blood triçkles to brow
dìg ƒingers
to smooth surface
pull back sçalp
çhip skull with ìce pick
saw Çlorox crown
expose jellyfìsh matter
to damp
tip head towards pot
empty çontents inside
boìl on hìgh ƒour minutes
add ketchup

9 Nov 11

Rated 10 (8.3) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (2): 5, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(173 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

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Gee whiz Webster, you got my goosebumps going on. You know i dig ya,
and this is your style. But I want to see what else you got in that hat holder of
yours. i want to see you stretch your creative muscles. O,O oh yaah
.by the way, whats with the willy nilly lettering. I like it.
 — unknown

hello unknown,
  thanks for reading and nice comments.   I see what you're getting at and promise to post a less gruesome one next time 'round.

Ğłąď Ÿōō ĺįĸę Ŧhë ƒσŋŧś
 — JKWeb

Web, are you a cereal killer?
 — ghost

boo ghost,
  yes, I like Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cocoa Puffs.  What's your favorite serial?
 — JKWeb

sakes alive, that's a buttload of spam!
 — JKWeb

hannibal has risen!
 — fractalcore

What a change of style. More Starr than Web
 — unknown

thanks fractalman for reading/feedback.

"Well, Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?"
 — JKWeb

gracias unknown for the Starr comparison/compliment.  just a slight change of pace.
 — JKWeb

Gruesomely delectable.  Everything's better with ketchup on it  ;)
 — sybarite

you're rite sybaright.  ketchup is bloody good.  thanks for lookin'.
 — JKWeb

i found the poem neither gruesome, nor interesting.
reads more like a set of instructions tha a recipe.
sure, recipes might include 'how to remove _______ from its husk/shell/casing/whatever', but generally a recipe will more likely involve ingredient lists and texture hints, time allowances, heat measurements. i see that only in three lines of the entire piece, 15-17.

it's a pretty simplistic poem, with very little in the way of detail to add interest, for me. the odd "f" and the accented "c" are a mystery, to me. i must be missing some insider joke as to the poetic purpose of employing them. am i to find some connection bewtween forehead, fingers, four? is there some scheme behind trickles, Clorox, contents? not every "f" is shaped this way, nor every "c" accented; is this a puzzle-poem, and that's why it offers no emotional value to me, because it's only a game?
 — unknown

you're right unknown.  what would I do without your brilliant critique?  I want to be just like you when I grow up.
 — JKWeb

it's a terrible thing to have your masterpiece questioned, challenged?
grow the fuck up.
nobody ever improved at anything when all they ever received was praise.
don't believe the hype from the ass-kissers.
a good start would be to explain the twice-asked question of the import of the fancy "f"s and accented "c"s, else your lack of substance be further exposed.
 — unknown

I don't mind proper critique.  as a matter of fact, I welcome it.  unfortunately, you offer nothing of substance/nothing that's going to make me "improve" as you put it.  all you do is split hairs.  anyone can crit like that but it makes you look pompous and dopey.  
 — JKWeb

first, why don't you enlighten me as to what constitutes "proper critique"? maybe YOU can help ME to improve.
secondly, nothing of substance? ugh.

"generally a recipe will more likely involve ingredient lists and texture hints, time allowances, heat measurements. i see that only in three lines of the entire piece, 15-17."

 — unknown

also, i notice that 'substance' is significantly lacking from the positive reviews. is 'substance' only required when the rating/review is less than favourable?
 — unknown

God knows I'm not an expert on critique
but I know it when I see it.  I received a lot of helpful and insightful critique on 'Stalingrad' for instance.  In answer to your question, the fonts have no significant meaning (my attempt at adding some flair is all).  Also, as you well know, some recipe's are short and sweet.  I suppose I could have expanded on the idea and may do so in the future.  On second thought, maybe not.  Looks like someone beat me to it on "thinking man's last resort"--was it you?
 — JKWeb

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 — unknown