poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Poems About Animals
zoralinsky

Naked mole rat,
 1
You revulse me,
 2
Like the half-erect penis of an overweight, middle-aged man.
 3
Yet I find you strangely alluring.
 4
Are you as clammy as you appear to be?
 5
I must find out
 6
First hand.
 7
 
 
Daddy Longlegs,
 8
They say that your venom is the deadliest of all spiders
 9
Only your fangs are too small to pierce
 10
The tough rind of human fruit.
 11
But it sounded like bullshit.
 12
So I looked it up on the Internet.
 13
Fiction is often stranger than fact.
 14
 
 
Flamingo
 15
Flame in go
 16
Go to hell
 17
The hot pink stink of
 18
Waiting in queue
 19
For the chemical cure.
 20
I stand on one foot
 21
Then the other
 22
One foot, then the other
 23
Stop pushing!
 24
Only one milligram of Ativan?
 25
I know the doctor wrote for two,
 26
You stupid bitch.
 27
 
 
Panda,
 28
Universally adored for your cuteness,
 29
But what exactly do you do?
 30
You remind me of my husband’s first wife,
 31
Only it wasn’t bamboo shoots to which she was addicted.
 32
It was alcohol.
 33
Like you she would have become extinct
 34
If the authorities hadn’t stepped in.
 35
 
 
Gorilla
 36
Oh, to be wrapped in hairy arms.
 37
To feel hot breath expelled from broad black nostrils.
 38
To rake a silverback with long manicured nails.
 39
I would gladly trade satin sheets
 40
For a nest of fresh, green leaves.
 41
So like us, yet so different.
 42
Some would call this love unnatural.
 43
 
 
Great Blue Whales,
 44
How did you get into room 5115 at City of Hope Hospital?
 45
The nurse told Mr. Day you weren’t possible.
 46
Because animals aren’t allowed on the premises.
 47
It’s against policy.
 48
It must have been difficult to get past the guards in the lobby.
 49
My guess is that you secreted yourself in a syringe of morphine.
 50
 
 
Penguin,
 51
You didn’t need to buy a tuxedo
 52
For your walk down the red carpet.
 53
Everyone loves it when a short, homely guy
 54
Becomes a leading man.
 55
Dustin Hoffman comes to mind.
 56
But now you’re over-exposed.
 57
And I’m kind of sick of penguins, actually.
 58

26 Nov 11

Rated 10 (8.6) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (6): 1, 4, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
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Comments:

seriously questionable what about a poet as an animal
 — unknown

clever poem
 — gallard

damn you're so clever and witty, i loved your poems very much and i can't choose which one is my favourite.  

it could be a hindrance, however, to post so many poems in one slot; i learned it from the next iron chef; you give too many dishes at once, you risk mixed decisions and the focus becomes muddled.  but that's pretty extreme and this isn't the food network.  just saying.

well done. :)
 — jenakajoffer

funny poem.  maybe put the qoutation marks around "flamingo" in 17 and put a space between "Panda" and "Panda"?  sorry.. it's my OCD kickin-in.  nice one all in all.
 — JKWeb

love stuff like this. really really clever and great fun. agree with jenaka though. posting all at once dilutes the spotlight that each deserves. cheers :)
 — unknown

very well done
the extension of the conceit throughout the piece was excellent
you're in hospital, you're bored-as-hell, you're writing a poem
the mole-rat beginning was an excellent barb to hook me with
'first hand' indeed! hahaha
kudos
 — unknown

I love all the animals you talk about, and how cute your poem is, even though there are swear words in it!! Nice work!!

-Anita
 — Anita35

*claps*  Fabulous and yup, agree with the aboves, each needs it's own podium.  Loves the flamingos and penguin stanzas in particular.  54-56 are sublime.
 — sybarite

They are not separate.  Do not separate them.  
 — OldShoe

yeah, thanks for the unknown's comments i realized it was one poem. :)
 — jenakajoffer

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 — unknown

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