poetry critical

online poetry workshop

happy christmas, willy gumb

it's hard to say how often
i think of you anymore;
hard when you're the white
albumen of my sky
stretched from its molten yellow orb.
i rose with the cock today;
your absence whipped my muse
into a holiday soufflé,
squeezed the yolk till it burst.
i grieved in the manger;
cloves scratched like talons
as blood mulled in my throat;
the lamb, black as an eight-ball
and baby jesus sparkling like a rainbow,
like the one that gave us light
to touch
to dance,
to smash each other in the rain.
i can't sustain it anymore,
this sick love tossed into the pot–
all these years
and you're still sitting in the window.
i want to knock your block off, bill
but it's christmastime
and i don't give a damn about eggs–
i miss you this time of year
and you are slow as molasses.
don't make me chase you
or i'll slam-dunk your gumdrop buttons
and plumb your boy-pudding
till your nog splits.
that'll be my gift to you; that's how i love
at christmastime.

20 Dec 11

Rated 10 (7.9) by 3 users.
Active (3):
Inactive (7): 1, 2, 7, 7, 7, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(90 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


I dig. Especially line 1-47.
 — unknown

 — unknown

 — unknown

You are as transparent as air, Jenkas, and so is charlie brown.
 — unknown

1-34 clicks
but after that i think you could make a new poem
35-47 should be a poem in itself
 — mandolyn

I have a compelling sense of déjà vu.
Other than that, please note the spelling of separates.
 — lysandre

lol, thanks,
and merry christmas.

 — jenakajoffer

happy christmas, friend!! love the poem, sista!!
only thing i'd look at tweaks would be 26-29
the muse can be dastardly bastard, no?
Take Care
 — unknown

happy holidays, ever-one!

; )
 — fractalcore

funny unk, you mess with me, you play mindgame with me, hahaha...i was actually tinkering with my here toy when you wrote that, so god knows what lines 26-29 were now!  thanks, and YOU take care as well. :D

FRACT albacore, you big tuna, where the eff you been?  nice to see you and Merry Chirstmas to you and yours :)
 — jenakajoffer

this (nearly) cured my hangover.

i can't write a proper comment, i keep typing and then deleting. your a sick bitch and that's the way i like it.          &n bsp;          & nbsp;  delete.
hmm, i think i want hang mistletoe over your poem and french it till the rooster coraks.
 — DeformedLion

I won't trifle with food puns, you big fruit cake. This butter tart of a Christmas poem made mince pie out of anything else I consumed this year. You were really stuffing the shortbread and assulting the mixed nuts right out of the box.

I love this beyond all measure, and hope St. Nick made you cheeks rosy red!
 — PaleHorse

17-23 are sublime, Jenaka.  23 in particular built the most delicious visuals.  I love that you're not afraid to defile everything!  
 — sybarite

I don't know Bill but I am sure he will get his nogs split some day soon.

your poem is quite masculine in voice, not saying that is a bad thing. not your typical cheery christmas poem but it is quite unique.
 — ghost

This is so cheesy and I HATE cheese, but I really like this poem!  It's got that longing all over it, but exudes humor as well which softens the sadness and turns it to gladness.  My favorite lines are 14-34.  There's somethin' about that copper pot that resonates with me.  Don't know.  :-)
 — starr

Line seven is a bag of Lola for me.

Line ten great themes.

Line sixteen and twenty the same.

I got a little queesy during the bill I mIss your ginormous pen that writes poetry in my heart. Return to the earlier narration and id be more than happy to downthis glass of cyanide eggnog and drift into oblivion blown by the winds of the western holiday.
 — Known

Btw I don't know who Lola is but I'm sure her nIckname is LOLS
 — Known

oh billy, willy ginormous bastard of a muse!

thanks all the for comments at christmastime, Z, you're playful response is very cute and fun, :)

you're all right, the ending turns this poem from nostalgic and longing to just plain nasty, and yes, a little bit gross.  that's ok though, i'm glad this poem sounds masculine and makes you feel cheesy and queasy.  although the natural human part of me wishes it ended more bittersweetly narrated, it IS a character poem, and she's a sick bitch.  
 — jenakajoffer

Yeah yeah yeah let's get to the gritty part where your character gets mental cancer and has see a psychonaut to operate on her astrological sign and blames his drinking and eating for the pain she feels because her kitty won't let her into the house.
 — Known

oohh you said kitty! that's a keyword for bill!

thanks Known.  i don't know who lola is either but i know who lolita is.

LOLS, funny.  :D
 — jenakajoffer

Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Online are expensive but the investment is surely worth it.You finally broke down and chose to buy Buy Oakley Sunglasses Online from the internet.On the internet you will find the best Cheap Oakleys Online which will save you money and time.Buy Cheap Sunglasses Online are a quality product that is not cheap so we want to make sure you are receiving the real deal.
 — siyuanseo123

Fashion replica handbags, replica watches collection

Replica handbags beauty who is used to match clothes and go out to the essential items, each woman replica handbags collection with these those seasons unknown trivial.

Replica watches making and production is based on a simple and clever invention, this is" spring", it tightens and stores the energy, but also can slowly release energy, so as to promote within the watch operation device and the pointer, to display the function of time, within the Replica watches the spring device is called the main spring ( Mainspring ).
 — nanimu

well, it's that time of year again, charlie brown.

sally :)
 — jenakajoffer

Merry days, card shark! You smell like shrimp these days. Xoxox
 — jenakajoffer

coach outlet online is not shy from making errors in their production or produce more than usual. coach outlet store online designer handbags are one of the most sellable brands in the world so to be seen with a coach factory outlet online login between your arms, in your hand or by your side can make you look like a million dollars.If you are looking for that china wholesale jerseys, you can certainly get them at discounted prices as well hence the term coach factory outlet website.coach outlet online store or not, coach factory online sale is a fashionable and popular discount nfl jerseys and you won't go wrong carrying coach factory store online. There are many websites that offer discounted coach factory website and do visit the one mentioned at the end of this article.coach bags factory outlet has introduced their coach factory outlet store which house an incredible inventory of cheap nfl jerseys, cheap jerseys and super popular cheap jerseys from china.Because of this, visiting a wholesale jerseys can deliver you a discounted cheap nfl jerseys from china at a significantly lower price.china jerseys is one of the finest quality brands in the nfl jerseys china market, with super stylish wholesale nfl jerseys being the hallmark of their label.Discounted cheap authentic nfl jerseys do exist and a cheap jerseys online outlook store is the best place to look. Usually run by cheap authentic jerseys themselves, these stores sell cheap sports jerseys and other cheap wholesale jerseys at a cheaper price by stocking collections from previous seasons.
 — unknown

coach outlet online
coach outlet store online
coach factory outlet online login
coach factory outlet website
coach outlet online store
coach factory online sale
coach factory store online
coach factory website
coach bags factory outlet
coach factory outlet store
cheap nfl jerseys
cheap jerseys
cheap jerseys from china
wholesale jerseys
cheap nfl jerseys from china
china jerseys
nfl jerseys china
wholesale nfl jerseys
cheap authentic nfl jerseys
cheap jerseys online
cheap authentic jerseys
cheap sports jerseys
cheap wholesale jerseys
china wholesale jerseys
discount nfl jerseys
 — unknown

nike outlet

Converse Outlet

Adidas Shoes Outlet

New Balance

Asics Shoes

Giuseppe Zanotti Shoes

Polo Outlet

Coach Outlet

ralph lauren outlet

coach factory outlet online

Oakley Sunglasses

Christian Louboutin Outlet

ralph lauren outlet

Ray Ban Sunglasses

Coach Outlet

Ugg Outlet

Coach Outlet Online

Coach Outlet Store

michael kors online

Coach Outlet Store Online

Michael Kors Handbags

Coach Outlet

Michael Kors handbags Outlet

nike air max 90

nike shoes

Retro Jordan shoes

Jordan shoes

tory burch outlet

Michael Kors Handbags

Oakley Canada Sunglasses

true religion

Ed Hardy Clothing

Jordan Shoes

Nike Outlet

coach handbags Outlet

Ray-Ban Sunglasses Men

Coach Outlet Online

ray-ban sunglasses canada

Christian Louboutin Outlet

oakley Sunglasses

Michael Kors Handbags Outlet

oakley Sunglasses canada

Air Max

Coach Factory Outlet

Michael Kors Outlet

sac longchamp

mont blanc pens

chaussures louboutin pas cher

Fitflop Shoes

coach factory outlet

longchamp pas cher

coach outlet store online

oakley sunglasses

ray ban outlet

ray ban sunglasses outlet

Coach Outlet Store Online

Michael Kors Outlet

Michael Kors Outlet

Michael Kors Factory Outlet

Coach Outlet Store

the north face

Coach factory Official

north face jackets outlet

Coach Factory Outlet Store

Coach Outlet

Air Max 270

ralph lauren outlet

Polo shirts

adidas nmd

true religion Outlet

jordan shoes for men

jordan shoes Cheap

oakley sunglasses

vans Shoes store

Coach Outlet USA

nike outlet

ugg boots outlet

Ugg Boots

Air Max 90

coach factory outlet online

mont blanc pens


Ugg Outlet

Curry Shoes

north face outlet

longchamp outlet

fitflops website

Air Max 97

timberland boots

Cheap Jerseys

Nike Store

Coach Outlet

Coach Handbags Outlet

nfl jerseys

Christian Louboutin Outlet

Adidas NMD

coach purses outlet online

uggs outlet

red bottom shoes

Christian Louboutin

Cheap ugg Boots

ugg australia

swarovski jewelry

oakley sunglasses

moncler outlet

ugg outlet

Michael Kors Outlet

Ray Ban Outlet

Oakley Outlet

North Face

Burberry Outlet

Ralph Lauren Outlet

Swarovski jewelry

Oakley Sunglasses


longchamp handbags outlet

Ray Ban Sunglasses

Cheap Jordan

timberland boots

Kate Spade Outlet

Oakley Sunglasses Outlet

Jordan Shoes

Pandora Jewelry

Ray-Ban Sunglasses Outlet

Salomon Shoes

Ugg Boots

Louboutin Shoes Outlet

adidas nmd shoes

Christian Louboutin outlet

true religion outlet

true religion jeans outlet

Air Jordan Shoes

swarovski jewelry

Pandora Jewelry Outlet

Salvatore Ferragamo Outlet

Polo ralph lauren

Ray Ban Outlet

Tory Burch Outlet Store

Coach Outlet Online

Ray Ban Sunglasses

Coach Outlet

Oakley sunglasses Outlet

Coach Outlet Store

Birkenstock Outlet

Moncler Outlet

Fitflop sandals

Prada Handbags Outlet

Coach Factory Outlet

Michael Kors outlet

Ugg boots Outlet Online

valentino shoes

New Balance Outlet

Adidas Shoes

Cheap Jordans

Asics Outlet

skechers shoes

yeezy boost

Coach Outlet Store Online

Uggs Outlet

Coach Outlet

ED Hardy

ray-ban canada

supreme clothing

nike outlet store

Ralph Lauren Outlet

nba jerseys

air max 90

ray-ban sunglasses


Jordan Shoes

Oakley Sunglasses

Polo Ralph Lauren Outlet Online

Adidas Outlet

adidas clothing

nike clothes

hugo boss

philipp plein

kenzo Clothing

Calvin Klein Outlet

longchamp outlet

coach outlet store

 — dongbei

nba tabellenstand
michael kors rea
cheap nfl authentic jerseys
todo camisetas futbol
equipacion atletico de madrid 2019
camisetas retro futbol
comprar camisetas de futbol baratas
borse michael kors outlet
michael kors borse prezzi
michael kors borse outlet
nbaplus horarios
michael kors borse prezzi
wetter dortmund 16 tage
lsf fh dortmund
mel ouvert caen
heure de priere strasbourg 67200
cheap authentic jerseys
coach crossbody bags on sale
coach outlet online clearance
cheap custom shirts
cheap custom t shirts no minimum
custom shirts online
cheap authentic nfl jerseys
authentic nfl jerseys
american girl doll wigs
american girl doll wigs cheap
cheap custom phone cases
cheap nfl jerseys from china
cheap jerseys online
stubhub miami heat
cheap wigs online
cheap nfl jerseys
cheap nhl jerseys
cheap ralph lauren shirts online
flannel bridesmaid shirts
coach purses on clearance
coach factory online sale invitation
coach factory outlet online login
official coach factory outlet online
camisetas de marca baratas originais
camisetas futbol falsas online
cheap custom phone cases
lgl82vl phone cases
zte zmax pro custom case
cheap lace front wigs
cell phone cases wholesale
wetter leipzig 16 tage
coach factory outlet online
coach outlet online
coach bags factory outlet
cheap coach purses
coach bags for cheap
coach factory outlet online
tupay wig
rosewholesale wigs
infoclick anm
prefisso 045
cheap human hair wigs
mel ouvert caen
celtic psg streaming
vertbaudet chaussures filles
modatoi chaussures compensées
nba sportando
stsl tabellenstand
max von helldorff
nfl shop jerseys
nfl jerseys wholesale
maillot boca junior
maillot asse pas cher
cheap best friend shirts
michael kors borse saldi
borse michael kors saldi
polo ralph lauren outlet online
polo ralph lauren factory store
michael kors plånbok
forum napolimagazine
coach outlet online
www coachoutlet com
official coach factory outlet online
coach factory outlet online login
www coachoutlet com
coach outlet coupon
official coach factory outlet online
nba store eu
besoldungsrechner bayern
polo jogging suits
polo ralph lauren outlet online
retro nba jerseys cheap
borse michael kors outlet
michael kors borse outlet
cheap nfl jerseys
michael kors plånbok
 — unknown