|happy christmas, willy gumb
it's hard to say how often
i think of you anymore;
hard when you're the white
albumen of my sky
stretched from its molten yellow orb.
i rose with the cock today;
your absence whipped my muse
into a holiday soufflé,
squeezed the yolk till it burst.
i grieved in the manger;
cloves scratched like talons
as blood mulled in my throat;
the lamb, black as an eight-ball
and baby jesus sparkling like a rainbow,
like the one that gave us light
to smash each other in the rain.
i can't sustain it anymore,
this sick love tossed into the pot–
all these years
and you're still sitting in the window.
i want to knock your block off, bill
but it's christmastime
and i don't give a damn about eggs–
i miss you this time of year
and you are slow as molasses.
don't make me chase you
or i'll slam-dunk your gumdrop buttons
and plumb your boy-pudding
till your nog splits.
that'll be my gift to you; that's how i love
20 Dec 11
Rated 10 (7.9) by 3 users.
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I dig. Especially line 1-47.
You are as transparent as air, Jenkas, and so is charlie brown.
but after that i think you could make a new poem
35-47 should be a poem in itself
I have a compelling sense of déjà vu.
Other than that, please note the spelling of separates.
and merry christmas.
happy christmas, friend!! love the poem, sista!!
only thing i'd look at tweaks would be 26-29
the muse can be dastardly bastard, no?
happy holidays, ever-one!
funny unk, you mess with me, you play mindgame with me, hahaha...i was actually tinkering with my here toy when you wrote that, so god knows what lines 26-29 were now! thanks, and YOU take care as well. :D
FRACT albacore, you big tuna, where the eff you been? nice to see you and Merry Chirstmas to you and yours :)
this (nearly) cured my hangover.
i can't write a proper comment, i keep typing and then deleting. your a sick bitch and that's the way i like it. &n bsp; & nbsp; delete.
hmm, i think i want hang mistletoe over your poem and french it till the rooster coraks.
I won't trifle with food puns, you big fruit cake. This butter tart of a Christmas poem made mince pie out of anything else I consumed this year. You were really stuffing the shortbread and assulting the mixed nuts right out of the box.
I love this beyond all measure, and hope St. Nick made you cheeks rosy red!
17-23 are sublime, Jenaka. 23 in particular built the most delicious visuals. I love that you're not afraid to defile everything!
I don't know Bill but I am sure he will get his nogs split some day soon.
your poem is quite masculine in voice, not saying that is a bad thing. not your typical cheery christmas poem but it is quite unique.
This is so cheesy and I HATE cheese, but I really like this poem! It's got that longing all over it, but exudes humor as well which softens the sadness and turns it to gladness. My favorite lines are 14-34. There's somethin' about that copper pot that resonates with me. Don't know. :-)
Line seven is a bag of Lola for me.
Line ten great themes.
Line sixteen and twenty the same.
I got a little queesy during the bill I mIss your ginormous pen that writes poetry in my heart. Return to the earlier narration and id be more than happy to downthis glass of cyanide eggnog and drift into oblivion blown by the winds of the western holiday.
Btw I don't know who Lola is but I'm sure her nIckname is LOLS
oh billy, willy ginormous bastard of a muse!
thanks all the for comments at christmastime, Z, you're playful response is very cute and fun, :)
you're all right, the ending turns this poem from nostalgic and longing to just plain nasty, and yes, a little bit gross. that's ok though, i'm glad this poem sounds masculine and makes you feel cheesy and queasy. although the natural human part of me wishes it ended more bittersweetly narrated, it IS a character poem, and she's a sick bitch.
Yeah yeah yeah let's get to the gritty part where your character gets mental cancer and has see a psychonaut to operate on her astrological sign and blames his drinking and eating for the pain she feels because her kitty won't let her into the house.
oohh you said kitty! that's a keyword for bill!
thanks Known. i don't know who lola is either but i know who lolita is.
LOLS, funny. :D
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well, it's that time of year again, charlie brown.
Merry days, card shark! You smell like shrimp these days. Xoxox