poetry critical

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Pamela Anderson and a window pain
zepplin42

Today's top 15 in a provocatively useful order (28.4.4)

(3)
 1
 
 
A narrow shot never
 2
returns long-distance retaliation,
 3
consuming my dad.
 4
 
 
"8, 6, 4, 3, 7, 2...."
 5
 
 
Just as soon as
 6
love imitates art,
 7
I'd hang you
 8
on my wall—
 9
     on Dostoyevsky
 10
          and an apple
 11
     (as seen on TV)—
 12
     and
 13
Winnipeg I'd hang
 14
     on one the ten wives
 15
          of Nathaniel Skedstead
 16
or maybe up there
 17
     on "having a Coke with you."
 18
 
 
167,000?
 19
 
 
That's what I meant
 20
when I said nothing.
 21
"Sometimes nothing
 22
is enough," you said.
 23
 
 
7!
 24

28 Apr 04

Rated 2 (7.4) by 1 users.
Active (1): 3
Inactive (6): 2, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(12 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

HAH! I like it!! awesome job!
 — DorkyHead89

haha this is cool, funky and different i like it good job
 — LovinLife

in(cr)e/doggle. fantastic am happiness gooly cut up burrows into my heart of hearts! Zoot!
 — onklcrispy

onk, I think that is the most touching thing you've ever written. Thank you.
 — zepplin42

Great! That is awesome.
 — dmu_96

I like the concept behind this.. but are you actually trying to *say* anything? Or get any point across?

I think my favourite part is line 21, which is quite cleverly done, actually. As well, line 1 is clever... but good poems aren't just about cleverly rearranging words- they're about getting something across to the reader... other than having a bit of fun with the top 10 list I didn't... get anything from this piece...

Also... what does the title have to do with the piece? I'm pretty confused...
I guess I'll refrain from rating it, since I don't want to pass judgement on something I don't feel I fully understand.
 — Inuki

Actually, Inuki, I would welcome a rating of 2 or 3 for this. It was just a clever little play on poem titles, nothing particularly serious. I think that it does say something if you want to think about it. The title was inspired by a post I made earlier today in which I said that I wouldn't stoop to putting "Pamela Anderson..." in a title just to get attention. But I did, and attention I appear to have gotten. Meanwhile, my other post today (which probably is much better) has been completely ignored except by semaj. sig
-zep
 — zepplin42

what is the old adverb about the monkey?
 — unknown

Hah, I only actually came to this one because I noticed it was yours. I had been avoiding it because of Pammy-Dear in yonder title. Though I think gnormal's done this before, actually.

As for the ol' adverb about the monkey, I think it was 'monkily'.
-semaj
 — unknown

Well I have to say I like it because my poem is in there! =) haha
 — warsager

mm..this is funny. adds humour without being trashy, and going down the cutesy path. was gonna skip it coz of the pamela anderson reference, but decided to check it out..lol..a mad touch of brilliance. wd.
 — wendz

this is really cool. its interesting that you could just take the list and turn it into an actual poem, not just a bunch of words in a list. great job on this one.
 — AEOS

haha, very creative
 — azalea

Weasel Saten: how old r u guys? r u all obsesed with poems????
i need 1 about cheese or pie
 — unknown

What the f*** was that and how is it considered a comment?
 — zepplin42

ah i love all the random comments on this site
 — unknown

BIODEGRABLE TURNIP
 — unknown

That was a sorry excuse for randomness
 — unknown

hahaha whats up with the title??? i like it- its quirky and clever.
 — unknown

They Took your JUB.
 — unknown

do u mean arrow?
 — breathindeep

if you want randomness.. heres a try.

you cant fight the mustard without a rocking chair.

there. now... about the person needing "1" on cheese or pie, you probably wont find it here. i am 17, and yes... i enjoy reading poetry. got a problem with it? then leave the site.

and spell things correctly.

asshat.

heh... i still love this poem.
 — AEOS

"An arrow" becomes "A narrow" after Encyclopedia's famous case in which a criminal showed his guilt by confusing the two.
-zep
 — unknown

Damn that Encyclopedia Brown! I'm still smarting after that grape-throwing-oh-no-the-water-is-the-hose-is-still-cold-damn-I'm-found-out incident! (as I pretend I was a character, woo.) And I coulda been a contender, too.
-semaj
 — unknown

^^ Hey, Zep! I noticed a little technicality. You said you'd never label a poem "SEX WITH PAMELA ANDERSON" ... but you didn't! ^_^ This is "Pamela Anderson and a window pain"...

Wow. Come to think of it, is "window pain" a strange reference to some kind of sexual disorder... or something to do with her lower anatomy?

Okay, okay. I knew what you meant... I'm just playing around. I'll stop that now, as so not to tarnish my (somewhat) good reputation.
 — Inuki

THIS REALLY SUCKS
 — unknown

"Sometimes nothing
is enough," you said.

Good line, U said it better.

Meep
 — unknown

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