poetry critical

online poetry workshop

she told me no more letters please just send an e-mail

There is no fancy paper now
to show you how thoughts of you
made me occasionally
spill over into the margins.
No longer the option
for you to spend all Sunday afternoon
pondering over the significances
of an over dotted i, loopless y or
elongated dash.
Gone are the times I would sleep
satisfied you were stung by the venom
of my biro -
for you've replaced intimacy with efficiency,
all soul with

3 Mar 12

Rated 10 (9.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 9, 10

(define the words in this poem)

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 — unknown

Clearer.  The title helps, so do the significances, and it is good, too.  But, for the life of me,  just stick the first two lines of the last stanza to the previous stanza (end with "efficiency") and eliminate the last two lines.  

I like this!  The feeling of someone writing on paper opens great doors to subjective reading, and it is far more than it was before, thanks to the changes.  
 — noia

Is there was no other way to word what the last two lines imply as they take the reader back to the start and title?  
 — unknown

Actually, it is no wonder I liked this.  This is one of Leonard Cohen's favorite of mine:  The Letters -

http://www.yo utube.com/watch?v=d-DgwHuqHoY

 — noia

spam or ham either way no glam
 — unknown

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nice update
 — unknown

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winsome and cute
 — unknown

just send her a video of ya thang!
 — unknown

v good detail

y  ---   i
 — unknown

i still love this one
 — mandolyn

 — unknown

V nice
 — unknown

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font is nice
 — unknown