poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Haus 29

Haus 29 is a magic number;
its going to whisper dry silence,  
then collapse like black tulips.
Her wood smiles under morsel Sun,
night protrudes giving out
Coagulated rhythm,
from this ravenous place.
the denizens try to dance in droves,
even forests cannot hold them,
bystanders flood in,
looking for  unexplained carolled groves
conversations staked on fevered implausibilities
the village responds in begrudging acceptance.

26 Mar 12

Rated 7.5 (8.3) by 2 users.
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excellent sense and settingof enigma
Queen of the Night Tulips are haughty and majestic.

your diction pleases me.
 — lysandre

Thank you very kindly.
 — Rossant

talkable plausibilities for a certain set. ok for new yorker verse, with its arch diction and flat poetic fleet -- no reader is going to squirm to the new carioca from reading this... it's safe for the class.
 — cadmium

ugh! what a vainglorious comment. grandiloquent bauer flutters on a stutter.
your big mouth has deafened you, foul bow-wower
 — lysandre

Cad your comments are far off the mark. I will not turn this poem into a dance routine just to please your nostalgia
 — Rossant

Love L4-5 in particular.  I am in accord with lysandre, lovely diction.
L12-gruding?  typo?
 — sybarite

you understand rosey, that i'm talking to you to find out if you're a genius poet or not. it doesn't matter what grade you get from the old battle axe teachers at all. you're the poet. live with it.
 — cadmium

Is new yorker verse a dig against dorthy parker ?
 — unknown

no, but she wasn't perfect either. it's more like some murky middle-ground, as though john updike wrote 'poetry' -- maybe he did -- a kind of important chatty talk among class-conscious people who trust that they each know what is and isn't tacky.

the comic verse of nash or parker is like the cartoons of the new yorker -- they're there because people want them to be there. the stories and narratives of the life of middle class authors pretending to be private people are voyeur and not as satisfying.
 — cadmium

Break out from the twilight zone
 — unknown