poetry critical

online poetry workshop

the sun orgasms fire...(was even nature has a sense of drama)

into a waiting sky
at the end of its reign in the day
I watched it after you tried to kill yourself
and thought of the ambulance lights
as a grande finale to some sick fireworks display
I will only look at the moon from now on
how the faint glow hugs its craters softly
in muted majesty
a subtle climax without fierce theatrics
I think now that's the only way for me
to breathe into sleep

26 Apr 12

(define the words in this poem)
(124 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


Burberry Outlethas become a symbol of the quality of life owing to its monumental fashion. In the 21st century,Burberry Outlet Online speeds up the pace of expansion in the world. Classic grid pattern, the unique cloth and the natural graceful clipping of Burberry Sale have become the pronoun of British style. In some dictionary, "Burberry" means dust coat.
 — lvb



Yes--you have inspired me to write about SUN ORGASMS.  I thank you for being my muse today.
This poem is really great.
I would suggest that you watch your phrasing and where the words are landing on your lines.
It is never "strong" to start a line with a wimpy word like "to" or "in" and be sure to also make good use of CAPitalization where appropriate.  I also do not see you using punctuation to your benefit.  (if at all, actually)
That is my two cents.  Great poem, otherwise.  ~forbster
 — aforbing

glad i could inspire forb

Recent Best (expand)