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a butterfly flapping its wings in china causing storms in new york

the sweetest of blood
choked the river with love
keeping the leaves folded
to turn the white soil golden.
too, too ill faded,
towards the mention of the mood,
keeps his heart pumping,
as the roots undo.

4 May 04

Rated 10 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (7): 3, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 10

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Try it as haiku. You've got the workings of it.

nevertheless. This is very good. It's sparse and stark all at once. It reminds me of kardiac.
 — zepplin42

I liked this, but I stil can't decide if I like how the title tells more than the poem actually does, or not?
 — youbrokeme

I really like this. It is so.....gray. Are you understanding this? Well anyway great poem. Like a single tree on a frozen hard tundra. I like.
 — Charlie

I like this quite a bit. I dont think it should be a haiku, but it would work very well as a tanka (5-7-5-7-7) I assume that the title refers to the Chaos Theory, as it is quite similar to the basic law of Chaos Theory. It feels a bit jumbled and quick to me, I almost think that it could use more detail to get the idea across. Just my opinion though. Good luck on this, and Ill check back in a day or two. 8
 — ShelbyS

more of a word-sound rhythm poem than the meaning of the words--reminds me of Salvador Dali. It took me a few times to find this impression. Reminds me of a picture in Gray's Anatomy, heart- and roots. I don't understand the title, and I think that's the point- part of the entrainment. (C)
 — unknown

awesome, awesome...i love it. i need some new words.
 — sandwiches

You stole the title from "butterfly effect" didn't you? That was a damn good movie, I thought.
 — unknown

"You stole the title from "butterfly effect" didn't you? That was a damn good movie, I thought.
– unknown "

I hope to god you don't have kids.
 — Ananke

the title is not from butterfly effect, that movie was horrid. it's an common example of the chaos theory
 — vsradioflyer

love the title
 — tragicbubble

I feel like there should be more.
 — Cloudless

circle takes the square.
 — unknown

ill faded or ill faTed?  i think you meant the latter
 — unknown