poetry critical

online poetry workshop


The tiny marks they mean so much
their presence makes for clarity.
They give a script a final touch
and make for better poetry.
But there are those who think it cool
Eliminate these marks and signs
we all have learned since grammar school.
They want us read between their lines
of jumbled, muddled heresy.
But we suspect their variance
when writing so-called poesy
is nothing more than ignorance
of what they should have learned ago
and blithely call it status quo.

27 Jul 12

Rated 10 (6) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (1): 2

(define the words in this poem)
(239 more poems by this author)

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But admonishment poems are notoriously posey in themselves
 — unknown

even rhyme can't make a poem out of a jesuit tract.  i think that it's that you have so little to say, that makes you say so much. indeed, a vulgar poetry up to the 1940's would have a comma after every line, that being the delicate way to indicate that a line is broken for arty's sake. arty is pretty sensitive.

punctuation is a kind of traffic signaling -- stop, go -- go slow, curve -- and is necessary if you're driving in suburbia. but, if you're driving your car 40 thousand leagues under the sea, you can't even see the road.

read some poetry for a change. it'll help you when your tour bus stops off in poetryville next time.
 — cadmium

Don't like this at all. The rhymes are forced, the breaks unnatural, and ultimately there is nothing being said here. Sorry for being mean, but so much more can be done with this. Connect punctuation with something that matters and maybe that will improve it. You may like rhyming, and maybe you're not willing to let that go, but try some free verse and see if that can loosen you up.
 — unknown

ignore the pedophile cadmium / james bauer
 — unknown

You don't have to worry about Albeej being offended by the same talentless few. Sometime ago he once wrote " he dosen't write for concensus sake but for his own pleasure."
This is why he rarely, if ever, rebuts the negative comments like the few found here.
I admire him for that reason and also for his very, fine original poetry.
 — unknown

"but we suspect their variance" is market-grade stock analyst prose. the talentless few are the few talentless people who think that using p.c. for a poetry tupperware party is about critiquing poetry.
 — cadmium

Keep up the good work, Albeej. I'm looking forward to your next poem.
 — unknown

ee is cummings


punctuation equating to clarity?

charity for the anally retentive poetry control freak of the world

there is meaning in everything. and lack there -- ov

omg! here is a stereo typical . . . period

use it or lose it? lose it to loosen

the screw

if i were you

if i were you

i'd blewe
 — funes

Lets see a higher average of rating to other poets, that way you can embrace other poets and not just be content with your narrow way. Directed to Albeej
 — lucion

why should he or she praise writing that doesn't seem like poetry to him or her? that's fatuous, as though this were an AA meeting and we all just had to get along. we don't -- we're poets inventing poetry, not inventing friends.
 — cadmium

We dont have to have friends, just being friendly is primary.
 — lucion

i only want to be friends here with my twin poet. in everyday life, i'm everyone's friend, because they're not into what i'm into: i don't learn anything from them about creativity, just about 'consuming'... it's easy to trade chat when all they're talking about is what they saw on t.v. and what paintings and poems they just luv to death. they're not into making things. when they are -- when they make something conscious, like clothing or cooking or cars, then we can share the energy of that, of doing something from nothing -- of inventing an art out and away from mindless everyday fidgeting with cans off a shelf and the t.v. remote.
 — cadmium

My god, Cadmium is really an *sshole!!
I'm taking a poll. Those who think one way or the other, vote by a quick comment.
 — unknown

i think that being an asshole in a writers forum for professional writers is to pat someone on the head and tell him to have a drink.

i think what i do, is take the author as possibly the best poet ever, and try to see if maybe this poem was written in distraction or as a joke. how the author responds is the key: if the author responds back wanting to read the poem as i'm reading it -- not to change his mind, but to see if he'd gotten it 'right' -- then the author is probably a writer of some kind and maybe a poet.

if the author writes back telling me i'm an asshole for not praising him for his good typing and really pure ideas about oprah's book club thoughts, then the author isn't interesting as a writer yet, and maybe will never become one, since all he's doing is writing chat-commentary talk back and not conceptual talk.
 — cadmium

  ignore the pedophile cadmium / james bauer
 — unknown