poetry critical

online poetry workshop



a love letter to a lover i've never known -
brianuxo

dearest,
 1
 
 
Firstly, how are you? I admit, with
 2
disdain, I keep cursing your
 3
name - and number my days since you've gone.
 4
 
 
Do you remember, as I do, the hours spent laying on the
 5
college lawn? The smoking, drinking, and loving until
 6
a wonderful, new, yet seen before dawn?
 7
 
 
How is your new lover
 8
who you picked, above all others?
 9
Is his spirit fine, his
 10
soul stout and strong?
 11
 
 
I feel still when we
 12
boarded the train, bent and
 13
bound for those two nights in Spain
 14
 
 
When I felt you start leaving
 15
and you proudly proclaimed
 16
You were sure, this time, that you
 17
were insane
 18
 
 
And so many stolen kisses
 19
beside the old mission
 20
taunting saints and sinners and God's unfair division
 21
of what is above
 22
middle
 23
and below
 24
 
 
Above
 25
Middle
 26
and Below
 27
 
 
And where are you now?
 28
does that bastard kiss your brow?
 29
Or care who came first
 30
and who finished last?
 31
 
 
My friends say move on - that our two rights were a wrong -
 32
but I still recall the words from
 33
that old damn song:
 34
 
 
"Oh sing unto me,
 35
in great jubilee,
 36
the song of he and she
 37
who know know dismay."
 38
 
 
I hated to hear it -
 39
and I know how you feared it -
 40
the fact that love is so quick to go astray
 41
 
 
Then gliding through
 42
Tangiers, we lit off
 43
from our fears
 44
and survived to spite
 45
every last cursed way.
 46
 
 
But even our love
 47
couldn't help but succumb
 48
to the same, same
 49
American craze.
 50
 
 
I knew you were a child,
 51
but all the still while,
 52
I bent and I prayed
 53
you'd stay and never stray.
 54
 
 
But a woman's heart
 55
seems to love no other part
 56
than the whole and the self
 57
which claims no other's help
 58
 
 
And each night I refrain,
 59
I admit I sing your name
 60
in the time between seconds
 61
of every waking day
 62
 
 
To no avail at all,
 63
for I had no choice but to fall,
 64
fall and falter
 65
a few steps short of your altar
 66
 
 
So praise you and damn you
 67
for all you have become
 68
and all you were then,
 69
all that kept me rapt and
 70
deaf and dumb.
 71
 
 
So good night and
 72
no luck
 73
and while I'm still stuck,
 74
I know you slip and you tease
 75
to whomever you please
 76
 
 
I know I'll stop and I'll freeze
 77
wear your devout scars upon my knees,
 78
until I feel you were worth
 79
all the pain and the damn hurt.
 80
 
 
But lastly: how could you?
 81
who were you - why
 82
should you?
 83
This is a game played for keeps
 84
above and between the sheets
 85
consummated and constrained
 86
while the best of us sleep.
 87
 
 
goodbye to you,
 88
the you I never knew
 89
the one who was plotting
 90
while I was still allotting
 91
time for marriage,
 92
infinity for joy -
 93
the silly old dreams
 94
of this smart young boy
 95
 
 
and may I ask you at
 96
best,
 97
for one last request,
 98
tell me the secret
 99
of how to enjoy
 100
the bed of another,
 101
when I still shake and I shudder,
 102
at my love for you
 103
from hours before
 104
 
 
Is it some joy to be
 105
Loved both by him and by me?
 106
 
 
Is the female volition,
 107
sustained by competition,
 108
and suckled through
 109
the thought of the ones
 110
you've left in your wake?
 111
 
 
So, again: how could you?
 112
and why the hell would you?
 113
when I gave you my all,
 114
free from shock and appall,
 115
 
 
but he now usurps
 116
the place I once learned
 117
to lie between thighs
 118
and look into the eyes
 119
 
 
the same place where you
 120
decided to fall
 121
 
 
why do you
 122
decide
 123
to fall?
 124
 
 
why did I
 125
decide to fall?
 126
 
 
why do we
 127
deicide
 128
to fall
 129
 
 
and is it always
 130
once and for all?
 131

3 Sep 12


(define the words in this poem)
(8 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

Hmm... I think this warrants some further discussion. I'm torn.
 — unknown

Dearest, I like short beards and words
 — unknown

0.366s