I'm sitting next to the restrooms | 1 |
and a stinking trash receptacle | 2 |
in an El Polo Loco across the street | 3 |
from a strip club and the county mental health building - | 4 |
the afternoon autumn light bathing everything | 5 |
in a golden hue. | 6 |
| |
An aged Mexican man walks through the double glass doors. | 7 |
He squints up at the menu | 8 |
like he's looking into a microscope through a pair of reading glasses. | 9 |
You can tell by the guilelessness in his eyes, | 10 |
he has no one. | 11 |
And so doesn't even realize he's lonely. | 12 |
| |
I am attracted to his face | 13 |
in the same way I’m attracted to Arabian music | 14 |
or Japanese calligraphy or death. | 15 |
I can't stop staring. | 16 |
There is something in it | 17 |
that makes me regret all the wrong I've done, | 18 |
and I'm ashamed. | 19 |
He orders one drumstick, | 20 |
pays for it with nickels and dimes and bits of trash. | 21 |
He eats his supper standing right there at the counter, | 22 |
his lips and cheeks shiny with grease - | 23 |
crumbs stuck in his mustache and beard. | 24 |
| |
The sight rips out my insides | 25 |
and I am ashamed. | 26 |
I head into the restroom and vomit in the sink. | 27 |