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cabbage patch bill
DeformedLion

sally is tip toeing knots
 1
i can see her limp of slipper
 2
in my puddle
 3
 
 
and my throat is warm, wet
 4
choking on the poodle hair,
 5
 
 
but its nice, see?
 6
to remember the war
 7
and the thrust of fingernails
 8
the mangled flower garden
 9
which you made me tend
 10
in the cruel moonlight,
 11
 
 
you fertilised it with my leavings,
 12
it was the same peanut delivery
 13
making the flowers grow
 14
into genitalia.
 15
 
 
every cock fondle
 16
and each little bud you would
 17
order me to suckle…even when
 18
you were giving birth
 19
and the bees were crashing out
 20
from your vanilla smeared orio.
 21
 
 
they would sting me till i was lanterned
 22
in red welts and the hose was still
 23
too hot to touch.
 24
 
 
you use to let it roast in my belly,
 25
and sometimes i could hear its little spout
 26
murmuring sweet nothings to my heart.
 27
 
 
i even wondered at how it knew such pretty words
 28
but you said not to speak-
 29
hush under vinegar.
 30
 
 
left the hose in the well for you,
 31
hope you looked after it,
 32
you were always a forgetful bitch,
 33
 
 
took more pride in gobbling the poodle
 34
than playing koi for the milk-man.
 35
 
 
fish don't swim in dairy, i think i know that,
 36
somehow you have left the order of the world
 37
to hang from your shorthairs, let the shadows
 38
dangle hands together and breach birth
 39
a calf or two from each of your lamp-posts.
 40
 
 
that's how you get the milk,
 41
the crusty stuff was your collection of me,
 42
shunted into a leaky bucket
 43
 
 
and let heart all over the frothy sea
 44
of your cappuccino.
 45

2 Nov 12

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Comments:

haha, oh linus, you get a bone for the most, and best, absurd imagery.
had to laugh out loud when i read 'forgetful bitch' and 'gobbling the poodle'...:)

i really like line 36, it's very unique in the voice, leaves me knowing there's still a boy in bill, 'i think i know that', so fucking cute.

there are some disjointed parts for me, which i probably don't have to point out, you might read this again and feel it need a slight bladder tuck.

so what's with 'toing'...a typo maybe, 'toeing' or could be 'towing' which is also interesting.

could do without some fatties here, which no doubt are intentional but feel off...
so maybe think of omitting
"of" line 2, "with" line 5,

what about changing line 16/17 to "every cock you fondled/each bud you ordered" etc...(that stanza is killerbee btw), oh yeah.

25-27, you're such a sick bitch, lol

41-45, awww love that you go back to the heart stuff.  
totally bulging the seams of my rotten egg.
 — jenakajoffer

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