poetry critical

online poetry workshop

apple-snake iq laughs, frac

a first nano bite, minute but  served its purpose
of yum, nothing complex
a universal function in sweet-sour taste;
second was regress
when it shuffled just like that, n times;
there were a few others coming,
but the same potato of storage, music & stuff.
when you get hold of mac -
could be stupefying, a genius
you'll forget a definition of quit on panic attacks
as would a simultaneous slap
of a lover pronouncing imbecile in the face
but i will never touch
i phone -
except made in china
i can always try if you call me tho

15 Jan 13

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this is weird but i'm hearing a voice so please speak up
 — unknown


; )
 — fractalcore

thanks. i thought this deserves critiquing.
 — unknown

well, i've just started reading around here
after so long, trying to find my footing again.
this has a feeling of privacy to it that i can
appreciate. the cadence is trivial but ok like
the technicality this is drenched in. you can
remove the [] around the d.

could be a kick-ass prelude to a romantic sci-fi.
 — fractalcore

you were so keen, tnx. my head trying to justify the need of 'shuffle' but reading it again made me see the rest did not identify any specifically.
i learned coherence from you today.
 — unknown