poetry critical

online poetry workshop



10 shags of mine
BrodeRwynn

10 shags of me
 1
 
 
THE FIRST
 2
Ever awkward,
 3
shaky near misses.
 4
Can`t remember her name.
 5
Shame.
 6
 
 
MISTAKE
 7
She`s shy.
 8
I don`t care,
 9
but married her later.
 10
Disaster.
 11
 
 
SWEET
 12
Scented hair.
 13
She blows me.
 14
I still get shivers.
 15
Lovers.
 16
 
 
SOFT
 17
Blue`n`blond
 18
fuzzy fur feists
 19
with sour saucy stench
 20
bend.
 21
 
 
WILD
 22
She devil.
 23
Devouring each other,
 24
the insatiable hunger reigns
 25
perils.
 26
 
 
RICH
 27
Dumbshit loose.
 28
Her pussy sang
 29
psalms, but she was daft
 30
twat.
 31
 
 
DEAR
 32
She`s all
 33
hugs and kisses.
 34
A persistent pressing push.
 35
Mush.
 36
 
 
NEW
 37
year`s eve.
 38
SWEET and DEAR.
 39
Treasured memories of red
 40
peg.
 41
 
 
DEEP
 42
Secret. Doggers
 43
dating on backseat
 44
once in a blue moon.
 45
Toon.
 46
 
 
POSH
 47
First lady
 48
of long standing hunger
 49
rides my poker shagged.
 50
Fragged.
 51

The cinquain (pronounced sing'kane and translated to mean "five-line poem") is a very popular and enjoyable poetic form.  Although its five lines are governed by very definite rules, there are no limit to the imaginative possibilities.  

    The pattern is as follows:
    Line 1:   one word for the subject of the poem
    Line 2:   two words that describe the subject
    Line 3:   three words that describe some action
                  of the subject . . .what it does or what
                  is done to it
    Line 4:   four words that express an emotional
                  response of or toward the subject
    Line 5:   a synonym of the subject. . .one word

20 Apr 13

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Comments:

I like both the poetic format and the poem itself.
Well executed ;)
 — Lou

Not quite sure if you adhere to the rules fully: e.g. "NEW / year's eve" does not make sense in if you read it in the way the rules ask us to.
 — TLK

Rules are just for guidance. I never let the form to kill the poem. I posted the form to help make some sense of the format. Thanks for reading.
 — BrodeRwynn

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