Walking home from an evening's breakfast at Denny's | 1 |
high on regret, alienation and the faint song of childhood. | 2 |
I cross the railroad tracks and turn down the street she used to live on. | 3 |
Snow begins to fall as I stand in front of the house, | 4 |
staring into the past - into a mirage. | 5 |
| |
On the way back to the bus terminal | 6 |
I notice a bunch of cars parked in front of my friend Sike Mike's. | 7 |
The door is standing open sightly and I peek inside. | 8 |
From the kitchen, Mike motions me over. | 9 |
"What's up man? You gonna stay awhile?" | 10 |
he asks draping a drunken arm around my neck. | 11 |
"I'd like to but I gotta get up early," I lie, | 12 |
eyeballing the six-packs on the counter. | 13 |
"Gotcha bro. Hey, grab one for the road!" | 14 |
"I'm gonna use your bathroom on the way out." | 15 |
I tear off a can, shove it into my coat pocket | 16 |
and weave my way back through the crowd. | 17 |
| |
I'm taking a piss with my eyes closed | 18 |
when I hear the soft sounds of crying through the wall. | 19 |
I notice the flicker of blue light from a television set | 20 |
coming from a bedroom at the end of the hall. | 21 |
I poke my head inside and see Mike's little brother Adam | 22 |
sitting in the dark watching a movie, | 23 |
arms wrapped tight around his knees. | 24 |
"You okay?" I ask. | 25 |
"Hi," he says, wiping tears from his eyes. | 26 |
His father is a scarcely functioning alcoholic | 27 |
and his mother shot herself last summer. | 28 |
I can feel the sadness in him - | 29 |
surrounding him. | 30 |
A sadness bigger than I am, | 31 |
bigger than any of us. | 32 |
| |
"Want to watch a movie?" he asks. | 33 |
"Sure," I say and sit next down to him "What is it?" | 34 |
"It's called The Perks of Being a Wallflower." | 35 |
We watch the movie together | 36 |
and as the credits fade we sit with our pain. | 37 |
I look over at him. | 38 |
"I'm sorry Adam." | 39 |
The anger and confusion rises with the hurt | 40 |
and I want to break something. | 41 |
"I'm sorry," I repeat. | 42 |
I head back into the living room | 43 |
and everyone is having a good time | 44 |
and I'm watching all their faces, | 45 |
blind and paper thin | 46 |
and no one notices | 47 |
a damn thing. | 48 |