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A Sequence of Hours
Brandxxx

zen walking.
 1
lost
 2
on
 3
purpose.
 4
vanished into
 5
the night
 6
and didn't
 7
come
 8
back
 9
home.
 10
tracers
 11
of light
 12
when i
 13
squinted my
 14
eyes
 15
and
 16
fell backward
 17
onto a grassy hill.
 18
some
 19
random
 20
place
 21
in some
 22
random
 23
city.
 24
alone
 25
and wonderful.
 26
as i relax
 27
on the dew
 28
of midnight cumulation
 29
nothing
 30
can phase me.
 31
unless my
 32
walkman
 33
breaks.
 34

3 Jun 04

Rated 8 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1): 8
Inactive (3): 7, 8, 9

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Comments:

hmm... I don't really know... It was interesting to say the least. The ending is weak, but it seems like it should be...
 — omega

Really good feel ,like its transience ,only line i'd take out or change is 29,its a bit clumsy and doesn't fit. Thats only my opinion of course
 — larrylark

i like all of this. the ethereal, lost feeling. cool.
 — wendz

thank you all for the comments. i was thinking about changing line 29 but i dont know yet. and the ending i like cause it makes it not so serious after all. thanks again.
 — Brandxxx

No comment.
 — SimpleMind

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