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Good Day for a Break Up

You're going to call today
so I turn off the ringer
on my phone, turn it
to the wall so I won't see
the lights flash
when you call.
How do I tell you
this isn't fun anymore,
I don't want to do this?
My stomach hurts,
I have a twitch in my eye
from stress and I tell you
a hundred times a day,
in my pounding
and guilt-stricken head,
that it's over.
Your voice, your eagerness,
changes my mind
every time.
This time is different.
This time, I'm saying it,
I'm going to be cold and hard
and brutal.
I take the phone off silent,
watch it, change it back to no ring.
A crazed person, kicking at shadows,
that's me.
What I need is for you to call,
tell me it's over.
The lights flash, caller Id says
it's you.
I regret my decision
as soon as I hang up the phone.

30 Aug 14

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