poetry critical

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adventurer
kripto

right hand imprisoned
 1
as I stand, facing the sky
 2
as I struggle the grasp tightens
 3
pain runs through my hand
 4
 
 
I cry out as I get pulled back
 5
yelled and belittled into staying still
 6
waiting, counting the seconds until the red light goes away
 7
until danger ceases and I can be free
 8
 
 
I see green
 9
My heart races, my feet crave to move
 10
But yet I am not free
 11
and am at the mercy of her speed
 12
 
 
as she guides me passed the monsters
 13
All standing still like stone statues, watching taunting
 14
like Moses, I am parting the seas
 15
walking carefully, past, hoping not to startle or awaken
 16
 
 
The end is closer as i scurry to the other side
 17
relinquishing the hold she has on me
 18
Finally emerging victorious and alive
 19
Almost instantly I feel her grasp again
 20
 
 
She shoves me in through an open door
 21
fumbling I step, grasping on to her
 22
she picks me up, and as I get on my feet
 23
 
 
I see, I smell, satisfied
 24
cookies, cakes, and little drops of chocolate
 25
Aroma inducing tears gets the best of me
 26
My mouth waters, as she asks
 27
What do you want
 28
I look around
 29
I want it all!
 30

16 Sep 14

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Comments:

this is

Great
Read it twice
Excellent in it's everything
Absolutely understood
Time to push the pedal
 — mandolyn

Very good kripto
 — unknown

thank you
 — kripto

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