| Before I suddenly and silently drift away
|
lillas
| Basking in the glow of florescent lights | 1 |
How desperate I've become | 2 |
| |
No more interest in silent nights | 3 |
or forgiving the sun | 4 |
| |
It's only a matter of time before I lose interest in you, | 5 |
in him, in her | 6 |
But let's be friend for a week | 7 |
two days | 8 |
five minutes | 9 |
Before I suddenly and silently drift away | 10 |
3-1-04 | 11 |
|
14 Jun 04 |
(define the words in this poem)
(36 more poems by this author)
|
Add A Comment:
|
Comments:
Lillas, I'm not meaning to be cruel but this feels like a string of disjointed lines from song lyrics. "You don't know how desperate I've become..." etc. etc.
-- ka
— unknown
yeah, i know. i got that same feeling. i just don't know how to fix it so that one line makes sense with others. it started off about a person who has SAD, but then the lines after the first four are, to me, a completly different subject.
lillas
— unknown
L7 friends
L5 would sound better as before I've lost interest in you
L5 you should be it's own line
the first and second stanzas of the poem seem like they are going in a totally different direction than the rest of the poem.
i would like to see each part develop individually because they seem like they are going somewhere.
— SweetPain
|
|
|