poetry critical

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Milk Goat

Oh my muse, let down your milk.
I led your long-eared
head to the stanchion,
and I haven’t latched it yet.
Sunlit grain lies
boxed before you,
may it please your only
row of teeth. My bucket
is ready and I am
galvanized on skinned up knees –
feeling the heat of your flank on my forehead,
fumbling for the teat.

16 Apr 15

Rated 8.7 (9.1) by 5 users.
Active (5): 2, 10
Inactive (12): 5, 6, 6, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(3 users consider this poem a favorite)

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Perfection!  :-)
 — starr

 — mandolyn

nicely written
 — RamonD

Smart poem. Cleverly put together.
 — larrylark

hahahaha!  Excellent image for a muse!  
 — Isabelle5

Yah I like this. I love that kind of filthy, hideously wreak imagery.

It left me with a shiver
(My babies so vain she is almost a mirror)

Cheers for.the read,
 — PollyReg

<3 author
 — unknown

thanks for the read, rate, and comments!
 — NicMichaels

Again, do not cap the entire title.
 — Isabelle5

funny poem.
goats kick-ass

https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=PpccpglnNf0
 — JKWeb


links don't work
 — JKWeb

I'm with Isabelle, Nic.  I wouldn't capitalize the entire title.  Just "Milk Goat" works perfectly and JK, I LOVE goats!  They're SOOOOO freakin' CUTE!!!!  :-)
 — starr

 — unknown

NOW it looks (and reads) aMAZINGLY with the uncapitalized title, Nic!!!!  <3
 — starr

tchoo tchoo tchoo ! i don't think the run-on-line is necessary at line 2, unless you wan tto convey some heavyness impression... / i feel the same about line 8...  

i like the originality of your topic...
 — greenmantle

cute.  reminds me of how Americas recent industrial and political/ social future has been looking for a "teat."
 — percocet

lol Percocet, it can be read many ways.
 — NicMichaels

 — OldShoe

I would have liked it to be a bit more.

 — OldShoe

PS - doesn't matter if you capitalized the entire fucking title
 — OldShoe

hell OldShoe. glad to see you are still lurking around, and the gruff pun is funny.
 — NicMichaels

Another good re-read.
 — PollyReg

You are a masterful wordsmith Nicole! I love the way you describe moments in the sun, the grass, even at a goat's teat.

Two things that caught my ear: sunlit grains lie boxed -- to me, sounded smoother. And skinned knees, omitting "up" would be a nitty suggestion.

This is a very successful write. I admire your work, always have. :)
 — jenakajoffer