poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Muse Myth - it's all in our own hands
Isabelle5

We call her Muse,
 1
she of the dream-stage,
 2
a flitter, a mind-fuck and
 3
gone unless you keep
 4
a notebook and a pen
 5
on your night stand.
 6
 
 
Sometimes she stays longer,
 7
takes your pen into her hand
 8
to write that bright line
 9
you love but know is not yours.
 10
 
 
She is both harlot and saint,
 11
hiding behind her coy fan
 12
until you have given up in despair,
 13
then she is suddenly there,
 14
glowing with word-birth,
 15
her progeny arranging themselves
 16
like well ordered DNA spirals
 17
on the page.
 18
 
 
We write in our dream state,
 19
we write in haste and frenzy
 20
or in slow motion, when every stroke
 21
feels ancient and profound,
 22
 
 
we write in the shower with the
 23
warm womb-like waters massaging
 24
our temporal lobe or during dull meetings
 25
when our minds wander and our scribblings
 26
have nothing to do with the business at hand.
 27
 
 
We are her slaves, happily chained.
 28
 
 
Most times, the words arrive
 29
complete with sound and color.
 30
 
 
Sometimes we even understand them.
 31
 
 
Other times, the scary times,
 32
we realize that 'she' doesn't exist,
 33
that we are in our own heads, alone
 34
and responsible.
 35

17 May 15

Rated 10 (8.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 3, 8, 9, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(501 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

I would cut "own" out of line8. I would also cut line 11 out, it seems like its just hanging there with little reason.  I would change line 12 to "she is a harlot saint"  Thats a pretty cool line.  I would consider reversing lines 15, and 16. "Glowing with word-birth, she is suddenly there."  Love the last line, great piece of work this poem is.  Hope I could help.
 — aven10

I'm still editing!  I didn't think anyone would be reading this yet!
 — Isabelle5

I've read you, Isabelle, and this is the most logical I've encountered. Been contemplating on the word ancient just awhile ago.
 — xyzab

myth muse,
and myth brodie,
went riding in cody,
and thaw buffalo.
 — cadmium

good example of a bad critique on the poem, Mike.  Thanks for that.
 — Isabelle5

just pointing out that your title is highly suggestive and maybe not how you think it reads.

no sense of humor?
 — cadmium

Of course I know how it reads, I just don't need you to point it out to me and everyone.  I have a good sense of humor but myth and miss are so basically intertwined that you having to point it out isn't necessary.

As if I didn't see it?  Are you kidding me?
 — Isabelle5

if you did see it, then it's insipid -- just not conscious, trivial and cartoony. i really didn't think you'd have done that.

the poem itself reads like notebook noodling and not something a poet would publish as poetry. too many pretentious first thoughts. the poet would grind this down into something personal and workable as the creation of the poet, not the menu items for a poetry party.

a break, give me.
 — cadmium

A poet did write this, YOU did not.
 — Isabelle5

I could do without 19-22 and 'the scary times' in 32. Other than that I loved this. A variety of forms and phrases only the author gets.
 — unknown

Nice write, Isabelle.  I really like this one.  Harlot and saint==very creative line!
 — PaulS

I think my muse is on vacation.
 — PaulS

Thanks, Paul!  Always a pleasure to see your name on a comment or one of your own poems.  Your muse is percolating, that's what I have been saying lately about that seemingly dormant time when you begin about 100 poems but toss them all.   It's in you, when you're ready, it will flow.
 — Isabelle5

0.234s