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after the diagnosis
unknown

my room has become a botanical garden.
 1
a sanctuary for rainbows and teddy bears.
 2
visitors come and go
 3
with partially rehearsed conversations.
 4
my world has shrunk
 5
to fighting with cartons on my food tray
 6
and praying I'll never be more than
 7
an arms length away
 8
from a urinal, the remote, my marlboros,
 9
your carefully misplaced
 10
vials of morphine.
 11

19 May 15

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Comments:

I like this a LOT.  It's raw, it's rich with images that are both lonely and dreary I'd end L1 with a comma instead of a period and then do a line break between L's 2 & 3.  Additionally, I'd break between "visitors come and go" and "with partially rehearsed conversations."  Make those two separate lines and then break again after "conversations" so that "My world" in L4 becomes a new strophe.  It's heavy and (seemingly) hopeless, but u like your "space."  Am I right?  I can relate to the remote and the Marlboros.  :-)
 — starr

Aids
 — unknown

Gd
 — unknown

Thanks
 — unknown

v direct
 — unknown

xx
 — unknown

F gd
 — unknown

heavy
 — unknown

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