Comments:
Based on the interesting title, I had hoped for much more. Instead, the poem is very one-dimensional. It's a simple metaphor that doesn't really go anywhere. I would've liked to see a lot more done with this piece.
— Inuki
That's it? This sounds more like a mean response on the threads than a poem. Can you do more with this? I do like the title but the poem doesn't live up to it.
— Isabelle5
nicely worded, i like flowing down the text in this, like on a slide. good strong ending, the sound of the word and its meaning make a strong brake on the poem.
this is what poetry can do when it's free of conventional restraints and capitalist grammars. ( well, office memo grammar, anyway. )
— cadmium
Bs
— unknown
Yuk
— unknown
what about the others
— unknown
dunno
— unknown
What if I say I'm not like the others
What if I say I'm not another one of your plays,
you're the pretender!
What if I say I will never surrender?!
— unknown
still, yes, so good and funny.
— cadmium
xx
— unknown
mami
— unknown
Words have feelings
— unknown
10
— viscera
isabelle's right, though -- it could be a stronger poem... we've got all this ISIS crap since this was written, and we're more open to honesty. this kind of daintily says that 'she' is a loser, but doesn't really show why.
— cadmium
EEEk, harsh and I am still waiting for you to say something... maybe too short!?!
— aforbing
Yeaa
— unknown
Mami
— unknown
stilll gd
— unknown
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