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poetry written while riding the double-e
william

I study faces and
 1
study nothing --
 2
strangers in headphones sing to themselves
 3
and to me, my mind sings their stories.
 4
 
 
While I knead my words
 5
and glance out the window
 6
over voices of stuck-teenage girls,
 7
my eyes meet too often, awkwardly those
 8
of the boy with bleached hair
 9
and black fingernails.
 10
 
 
I wonder about
 11
the girl who stares at her hands
 12
and I write it all, down
 13
George Street from Douglass,
 14
alone, early evening,
 15
cold and September.
 16

19 Oct 02

Rated 8 (7.6) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (47): 1, 1, 3, 3, 4, 4, 5, 5, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

Mood captured very well.
 — unknown

i like the people that ride the double-e better then the F bus. They're more interesting to look at and listen to.
 — unknown

i love those girls & i love this poem. nice.
 — unknown

Hee hee. Good stuff.
 — Moose

This is very vivid. A very tangible experience I'm sure you had. Good job!
 — Reformer

Don't tell me... you go to Rutgers!!!
 — unknown

sweet man
 — NO

oo baby. all about this one. i know that feeling, of being you and of being them. and i like the akward way you captured it in the first stanza. line 8, however, is just plain akward in it's wording.
 — jade

specifically by the first stanza i mean "lines 3 and 4".
 — jade

everyone come take the EE and come visit me. I mean, anybody on Cook. But this poems is good, and most importantly genuine.
 — JechtisSin

Still among my favorite poems of yours, and rated far, far too low.
 — unknown

i know those girls and look at them too. familiarity works when you get it right. you did. i agree with jade about line 8, yet maybe the awkward wording is literally due to the awkward unexplainable feeling you got? why did you post this anonymously???????
 — fetish

Still so good. So, so good.
 — unknown

GAH. Hurrah. Love love love love love love
love
love

lovelovelovelovelove.
 — allie

sounds like it's just getting started. Regards for observation, courage to be a writer in public. i think the title would be more flowing as, "Riding the Double-E". The most creative aspect shared seems to be what others are doing and how they have styled themselves- the poet just sits and writes it down. kind of just journal stuff, like you haven't found your voice yet. "Knead" words? You're hinting at some nervousness?- but you don't reveal anything there. I wish you could have initiated a dialogue with the bleach boy. That would be something special perhaps, to share that communication. more self revelation and colors- grafitti, chrome, seeing your own breath could birth this one. Maybe wait for significance and highlight sensing. No offense- that's how I experienced this tonight.
 — unknown

i like this. it describes one of those universal experiences...i feel the same way when riding the los angeles subway (yes, it exists). i'm the girl staring at my hands, trying to put the same feeling into words.
 — britta

I hate it when eyes meet - you capture the experience so well.
 — unknown

Great poem, poem about a "common" subject, however written very well.
 — Username_5

Lovely.
 — unknown

106. In a Station of the Metro
THE apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.
—Ezra Pound
 — mobius1

YES!
 — onklcrispy

>my eyes meet too often, awkwardly those of the boy with bleached hair and black finger nails< this line is sentimental and sad yet it adds a slight sexy tinge to his pensive evening...
there are lots of great lines in this one and the setting is beautiful.

mark denton savannah-georgia
 — unknown

pure beauty.
 — unknown

very cool
 — Brandxxx

i love ur sense of artistic talent used in ur poetry do somethin that has more to do with love

 — unknown

this shit sucks

 — unknown

put more poems about spring clouds and sunsets and ect...
 — unknown

I'm hop with this... Nice job!
 — aforbing

such a great piece!
 — AdamsAunt

love it, nice and simple just the way i like it.
 — leelou

great observation and description, you turned a common moment into decent art
 — ggvicous

Wow! You are so deep and complex!
 — steve711

This is my favorite poem on the site. Exellent....choice of words, structure, the topic etc It's amazing!
 — beluga

Nice...
 — dantebo

Wait what about goths?
 — unknown

why the hell did I always pass this poem by!! it's ...wow. I agree with Reformer, very tangible. I like th eline "alone in the early evening, cold and September." It's an approach I wouldn't have expected (would've expected "cold in September" or "a cold September."

Great job.
 — SeraphSoul

This was a good poem if you can truly understand it By:Keyonna Washington

 — unknown

I liked this part:

and I write it all, down 13
George Street from Douglass, 14
alone in the early evening, 15
cold and September.

 — Hquartz

gimmie another!~
 — unknown

you can have 30 more if you click the link below the poem
 — unknown

I was expecting this to be some druggie rant(Double E is commonly used for a double stacked pill of ecstacy)....I read it and it wasn't....it was a rather pleasant surprise.  I'll give it the 8.
 — DarkRide

WOW !! that is soo awesome i liek lines 1 2 3 4 13 14 16 those r my favorite its a gr8 poem keep up the awesoem work
 — sleepwalker0

I really like the tone shift in the last stanza.  You've captured some very strong characters in your poem too.  Nice :-)
 — TaylorC

thats sum great shit man
 — unknown

wow.. that's amazing. I take it you must live inside your own head as much as i do.. I especially enjoy lines 11 - 13, it just reminds me of someone I used to know. I dont have an account on this but I have an account on gothictears.com so if you'd like to check that out sometime it's http://www.gothictears.com/index.php?page=poet&id=1554
 — unknown

Sorry, but this is completely banal.
 — wanderlust

Hey dogg I like your pome well got to bonce                                                                 BLAZE
 — unknown

this is a nice poem keep up the good work thank you
 — unknown

sorry, but I find the imagery rather banal and immature
 — TOURIST

I don't like the last three or four lines.  They seem kind of akward.
 — BoldSilence

the double e? *confused* maybe it's just me...
 — expressions

"ee" is a train in NY.
 — unknown

Actually, it's a bus in New Brunswick, NJ.
 — unknown

It's unique and i love it
 — unknown

I think this is wondeful. The line breaks are perfect. Line 16 is my favorite (I'm all about using nouns as adjectives.)
 — Cella

sucked
 — unknown

this is so good. i mean im not sure where the double e goes but it works. and ive just realised im a year and a half late.
 — flame

this poem sucks
 — unknown

ok
 — unknown

i like the last stanza the most, some of the words in here are very nice
 — lai

nice poem
 — dedication

i like it, very simple observant and well....poetic. i especially like the last stanza.
 — faeryfog

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